Lenten Special

It was my committment this Lent to write everyday and walk everyday. As you can probably tell from the date on this entry, I've not kept up with the writing part. Truth be told, I haven't done the walking thing either. Well, I walk everyday, but I don't walk any extra. I was hoping to get some time to think and work things out in my head; alas I haven't had much time.

I started to beat myself up about it, but then I remembered the sermon I received on Ash Wednesday where in the priest talked about forgiving ourselves. She was right. So, I've just decided to write when I can and walk when I get the chance.

This kind of reminds me of a line from Joan of Arcadia: "Thinking you're the worst person in the world is no different than thinking you're the best. It's giving yourself a place in the universe you haven't earned." I'd like to pass this message on to a friend of mine who is going through quite a nasty patch. The quote doesn't directly apply, though. Sometimes, she talks about herself negatively and it makes me feel like she wants me to contradict her. But this constant need for praise and confirmation externally is wearing me down.

I try to react honestly, but I feel like she's pumping me for self-esteem, and it really wears me out. I don't know what to do. It's icky and I don't really want to do anything about it except close myself off. That's not really possible at this point, though. I guess I'll tolerate it until I can think of something better to do. I totally didn't know what I was going to write when I started this entry. One of the great things about journaling is that it really helps me sort out what's going on in my head without a lot of effort. I really should do this everyday...