I Want To Like Danny Phantom

Look at him. He's cool. He's got a great theme song. Many of the elements that I look for in a show Danny Phantom has: I like the style, the music, and I enjoy the voice acting. Danny Phantom was created by the same guy who created the Fairly Odd Parents, a show I really enjoy. All evidence indicates that I should enjoy this show, but I don't.

My kids love both shows and so does Doc. We don't always agree on these things, but I usually at least understand what they find appealing. At first I objected to Danny Phantom's content, thinking it was too scary for my little girls. But as I started to watch it casually at first and then began to pay attention to it in earnest, I realized it was pretty tame. On the scariness spectrum, it sits nicely next to Scooby Doo. Thinking that my reservations were alleviated, I decided to give the show a shot. I wanted to like it, I really did. And I discovered elements that I enjoyed, my favorite being the moment Danny says "I'm goin' ghost!" and his theme music kicks in.

But there is something about this show that leaves me cold. I just can't get into it. There is something hollow about the feeling I get when watching it. It wasn't until I was ranting about it on the phone the other day with Big Orange that I realized why: The premise of the show itself. In a nutshell, Danny gains ghost abilities after a lab accident. He can transform from regular boy to ghost boy at will. This gives him a distinct advantage over ghosts and humans alike. As a ghost, he is immune to human weapons and objects and as a human, he is immune to ghost weapons and objects. It really makes him quite invincible. Pretty handy, don't you think? Of course, he's a teenager and bound to make errors in judgment, but overall, there is nothing much he can't handle.

Most episodes are dedicated to tracking down, trapping and exiling wayward spirits into Ghost World. But most of the spirits who haunt Amityville came through a portal Danny's parents invented! This portal, a MacGuffin if there ever was one, is in his parents' basement! What I don't understand is, why not destroy it? I realize his mother is interested in studying the ghosts and his father has a vendetta against them. Those reasons alone may be good enough for the portal to exist in the minds of the creators, but they are not good enough for me. I also realize that I'm probably not the target audience for this show and I may have the bar raised a bit too high. Perhaps I should chill out. However, Fairly Odd Parents is such an entertaining and well-thought out show. Why couldn't the creators do the same for Danny Phantom? Why couldn't they find plausible reasons for these characters to exist?

I really like many of the characters: Danny, Sam, and the Box Ghost. It's too bad that the story line is held together with such flimsy logic. I think I'm not the only one who feels this way, either. The suits at Nicklelodeon are not renewing it. So, come February of next year, Danny Phantom will be a phantom in our memory. I will no longer have to deal with the nagging thoughts that torment me when I'm enduring children's television. I won't have to sit through Danny Phantom and silently beseech the heavens, "Why not destroy the doggone portal and be done with this? You're wasting my time!"

But part of me will be sad; my daughters love this show. They will miss it. I know the feeling of having a beloved show cancelled too soon. Perhaps I should take the opportunity, when the time comes next February, to sit down and explain to them why Danny Phantom was cancelled, to tell them that cool effects and music is not enough to make a great show. I think I will. It is what the experts call a "teachable moment." I usually don't have time to prepare for these, they are usually spontaneous. I must also prepare for the reaction that they will not care why Danny Phantom was cancelled. Or that they will disagree with me.

Cue: Battle Hymnn of the Republic

But it is my duty to instruct the younger generation on the properties of good entertainment. To disdain programming that is basically cheating on the writing. To abhor form without function. And to expect more out of people who are given millions of dollars to draw cartoons. For if accountability is important for working stiffs, it is important for all Americans. And if my words fall on deaf ears, I shall not falter. I shall say my message again and again until sheer repetition of the message makes it truth! And that, my fellow Americans, is parenting.