Tuesday, August 31, 2010

FFF #40 - Summer Lullaby

I heard footsteps on the wet sidewalk
And the sound of keys,
My piano, out of tune.

My heart sang the blues in the moonlight
And my dog
Ordered another round.

Our reverie on summer's passing
Bent our souls leeward
As we listened to the last storm

News of hurricanes blow through our sunburns and
We sandbag ourselves
Against the chill we can't feel yet

The thunder rumbles our bones
And is a harbinger
Of closing up, in

As we weep at the beginning
Of the end of warmth
The earth pulls us closer,
One last embrace before
Our bedtime of winter

Submitted for Friday Flash Fiction


  1. That's nice! Me likey.

    I'd also like to buy your dog a drink.

  2. Very nice -- the line breaks worked very well to enhance meaning and rhythm --

  3. I can't wait to go drinking with your dog!

    This is beautiful Darlin! Just simply beautiful! Write some more!


  4. I'm slowly getting into poetry (Randal and Coraline). So, in my opinion, I think this is great. I must be getting there cause everyone else thinks the same. :-) Great job, Flannery.

  5. I like it when people interpret the starter sentence in a different way from what you expect - the keys being on the piano.

  6. As Gaye Bear says, the interpretation of the keys was excellent. And the poetry, well, just wonderful. Truly a fitting lullaby for Summer.

  7. Very nice work Flannery! I'm not generally a big poetry fan but you hit all the right notes!

  8. BeckEye: Thanks and Fido says,
    You're on!"

    SD: Thank you!!

    WellesFan: I thank, I thank!

    Chad: Cool...I always worry about that. I don't know much about meter and such, but I edit until the rhythm feels right to me.

    Doc: Thank you! And you'll have to get me a dog first, and I'm pretty sure that's never going to happen ;-)

    Randal: Ok, dammit. You could check out my old poetry site for more verse...Here's a link to my old poetry if you want more now.

    Thank you, Coraline, Dale and David!

    Gabby and MRMacrum: Thanks! I knew this sentence lent itself to noire and I kind of wanted to switch it up. Piano...keys! I thought. I had a lot of fun with this. Thanks for the start, MRMacrum!

  9. I liked the play on the words - interpretic 'keys' as something musical!

    So nice to read poetry - just to take time and enjoy the sounds of the words without the preoccupation of having to follow plots and situations.

    Thanks, Flannery!

  10. hey, you can write POETRY for FFF?? NOW I've got a chance to compose something!!

    ::smack, smack:: now THAT was tasty, toots! ...Ever thought of doing a Lazarus to Poor Mans Telepathy???

    ...and I think "my dog orders another round" should be the name of a band or something... that's too good NOT to pinch and reuse...

  11. Exciting to read, and the word pattern is striking! Very nice!