Tuesday, August 31, 2010

FFF #40 - Summer Lullaby

I heard footsteps on the wet sidewalk
And the sound of keys,
My piano, out of tune.

My heart sang the blues in the moonlight
And my dog
Ordered another round.

Our reverie on summer's passing
Bent our souls leeward
As we listened to the last storm

News of hurricanes blow through our sunburns and
We sandbag ourselves
Against the chill we can't feel yet

The thunder rumbles our bones
And is a harbinger
Of closing up, in

As we weep at the beginning
Of the end of warmth
The earth pulls us closer,
One last embrace before
Our bedtime of winter

Submitted for Friday Flash Fiction

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15 Comments:

Blogger BeckEye said...

That's nice! Me likey.

I'd also like to buy your dog a drink.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 11:02:00 AM

 
Blogger SkylersDad said...

This is lovely Flannery!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 12:29:00 PM

 
Blogger WellesFan said...

I like, I like.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 1:37:00 PM

 
Blogger chad rohrbacher said...

Very nice -- the line breaks worked very well to enhance meaning and rhythm --

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 1:42:00 PM

 
Blogger Doc said...

I can't wait to go drinking with your dog!

This is beautiful Darlin! Just simply beautiful! Write some more!

Doc

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 2:06:00 PM

 
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Yes, more verse, please, dammit.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 2:11:00 PM

 
Blogger Coraline J. Thompson said...

Gorgeous poetry Flannery

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 4:02:00 PM

 
Blogger David Barber said...

I'm slowly getting into poetry (Randal and Coraline). So, in my opinion, I think this is great. I must be getting there cause everyone else thinks the same. :-) Great job, Flannery.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 4:17:00 PM

 
Blogger Gaye Bear said...

I like it when people interpret the starter sentence in a different way from what you expect - the keys being on the piano.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 8:44:00 PM

 
Blogger MRMacrum said...

As Gaye Bear says, the interpretation of the keys was excellent. And the poetry, well, just wonderful. Truly a fitting lullaby for Summer.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010 7:25:00 AM

 
Blogger Dale said...

Very nice work Flannery! I'm not generally a big poetry fan but you hit all the right notes!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010 8:29:00 AM

 
Blogger Jenny Jenny Flannery said...

BeckEye: Thanks and Fido says,
You're on!"

SD: Thank you!!

WellesFan: I thank, I thank!

Chad: Cool...I always worry about that. I don't know much about meter and such, but I edit until the rhythm feels right to me.

Doc: Thank you! And you'll have to get me a dog first, and I'm pretty sure that's never going to happen ;-)

Randal: Ok, dammit. You could check out my old poetry site for more verse...Here's a link to my old poetry if you want more now.

Thank you, Coraline, Dale and David!

Gabby and MRMacrum: Thanks! I knew this sentence lent itself to noire and I kind of wanted to switch it up. Piano...keys! I thought. I had a lot of fun with this. Thanks for the start, MRMacrum!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010 3:35:00 PM

 
Blogger SueH said...

I liked the play on the words - interpretic 'keys' as something musical!

So nice to read poetry - just to take time and enjoy the sounds of the words without the preoccupation of having to follow plots and situations.

Thanks, Flannery!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010 4:24:00 PM

 
Blogger Cap'n Ergo "XL+II" Jinglebollocks said...

hey, you can write POETRY for FFF?? NOW I've got a chance to compose something!!

::smack, smack:: now THAT was tasty, toots! ...Ever thought of doing a Lazarus to Poor Mans Telepathy???

...and I think "my dog orders another round" should be the name of a band or something... that's too good NOT to pinch and reuse...

Thursday, September 02, 2010 7:35:00 AM

 
Blogger PipeTobacco said...

Exciting to read, and the word pattern is striking! Very nice!

PipeTobacco
http://frumpyprofessor.blogspot.com

Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:33:00 AM

 

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