Mother Nature and I Are No Longer on Speaking Terms

116.3 inches of snow fell this year, a foot of which descended on us in this, the last weekend of what is being called the "Snowiest April in Northeast Ohio." The forecast for today is 49 degrees, which will cause all of this snow to melt and flood the streets and basements of we the winter-weary. I mean, come on!!! It is April 25; I should not need to use my four-wheel drive at this time of year unless I am baja-ing through the mud!!!

I am trying not to loose my cool however. If Old Man Winter can't stop showing off, the only reasonable response from me is the cold shoulder. My co-worker was so upset by the weather that she was crying tears of anger this morning. We must make allowances for her, though, she does hail from California and, even though she has lived here for years, she still can't cope with the absence of an ocean and the ridiculous amounts of preciptiation. Better start looking for a new home now, honey, because, while it won't get much worse than this ::fingers crossed:: it won't get much better either. And if the Lake is not a good enough specimen of a sweeping body of water, then you are SOL.

I plan to discontinue the conversation about the weather; I do believe that Mother Nature is just trying to get attention. I will not encourage this behavior by marvelling at it further. She interfered with our Christmas plans, she caused power lines to be snapped and people to live primatively for weeks at a time, and she has driven me to create complete and decorative delusions in order that I not go mad. I have constructed elaborate fantasies and have slipped them over my eyes like rose colored glasses, so that instead of seeing slush, gray skies, snow and ice, I see daffodils in bloom and bunny rabbits frollicking; the grass is green and lush, and the wind conditions and the temperature are ideal for kite flying.

So, if you see me leaning over to sniff a pile of snow driven off the road by a snow plow, please, leave me be. My toes know it's still winter, my car knows its still winter, but my eyes and ears and nose can't take it anymore. We're just going to pretend its honest-to-God springtime until Mother Nature comes to her senses, slaps Old Man Winter, and brings me my butterflies and bunnies.