Thursday, August 02, 2007

And Then There Were Three...

The layoffs have begun. And they started with the person I least suspected. I am so struck with grief right now. It's weird, I knew they were coming; I knew we would part ways. I thought I was OK with everything. Hell, I even celebrated it! What happened?

In actuality, we are all going to end up in a better place. This transition should be a celebration. We are very fortunate to have so many people up and down the line who are going to help us move along. I still can't help feeling sad...depressed, actually. Heartbroken. Pulled-asunder. Up-ended. Drawn and quartered.

What do I say about this? I don't even know how to describe my colleagues. To call us a "team" seems to cheapen what we were. We were a group of like-minded professionals, called to a cause. We put our heart into our work, but left our emotions out of it. We put our heads together and dug out of problems. We put our heads together and dreamed up some marvelous things. Our director had high expectations and we didn't balk. We were a force.

Even while we knew this was coming, It is unthinkable that we won't be working together anymore. How will I be able to accomplish feats like this again without them by my side? Maybe I shouldn't aim so high in the future. Everytime I do, there is always someone waiting to stop me. I remember back to my first job, folding boxes. I was hustling through them, trying to get through a skid-full of them, when my co-worker said, "Slow down; you'll make us look bad."

"Slow down; you'll make us look bad."
There's a motto for you. This motto represents the status quo and the status quo is my enemy. And wouldn't you know it? It has bested me again.
God dammit. Now I've got to start all over...

12 comments:

  1. Porn and bacon Flannery, it's the only way.

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  2. Ah Flannery, as a veteran of way too many layoffs, I can tell you they are never good. No matter how much you think you are ready, there are friends lost, feelings hurt, and down deep is the hurt feeling that somebody doesn't think you are good enough.

    Give yourself plenty of time to process it all, don't take anything too personnel. You are too good of a person for that!

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  3. I get what you're saying and all, but you really should slow down, because you really are making us look bad.

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  4. Flann, HOW many layoffs have I gone thru in the last 6 years alone? Lookit the bright side, through a series of strange mishaps you might wind up down here in Camelot with the rest of us!!

    And don't knock the status quo-- it's all some of us have, you know...

    DALE: I got's 'em both!!
    SKY DAD: you speak truth, Bwanna! maybe we can all chip in and keep the Flannster in aprons o'er at my pad??
    VIKI: I'm glad you said something-- I've been thinking that for years but haven't had the courage to say nuthin'...

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  5. Flannery, the status quo is the devil in disguise. If you're smart you can see all the seams in the little costume. Wish more people could see it. Sorry that work is sucky. I hope you land in a better place.

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  6. I echo Skydad's words (we used to work together until he quit).

    Sometimes I think it's a lot worse to stay, seeing all my friends go and dealing with the mounds of work. But I have a friend who is the main bread-winner in the household and he got laid off a while ago and hasn't found work yet and is very depressed, so I guess it all depends on the situation.

    When do we see a pic of that new 'do?

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  7. Truth be told Flan, I quit because Kristi kept checking me into the side of my cube...

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  8. So sorry you have to go through this.

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  9. You, Flannery Alden, put the blogosphere to shame.

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  10. we all have good and bad days in how we deal with a major life-change, sounds like your rollercoaster just came down the hill, should be heading back up again soon. Still a positive event for you overall. ;)

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  11. People spend a lot of time trying to figure out the exact minimum amount of work they can do and not get fired. It really bothers them when someone comes along and threatens to disrupt all their hard slacking by working hard.

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