Friday, July 27, 2007

Yay! I Will Probably Be Laid Off!!!

Yes, folks, the writing is on the wall. Of course, we have to go through a bunch of job analysis, crying and group therapy first, but I'm pretty sure I'm a goner. But don't be sad, I've been trying to figure out a way to get out of this job for FOUR YEARS. Finally, God closed the door on this place and has opened up another one. I am Dorothy leaving sepia tones for rich technicolor.

Lucky for me, I'm in the union and at a university. When everything's official, I will have a minimum of 30 day's notice. In the meantime, if another position at my salary grade appears, I will get placed in it at the same salary level, no interviews necessary. This is called Recall Rights and I have them for 18 months after I'm laid off.

Oh. my. God. I am so thrilled I can hardly stand it. Most of you don't know what my worklife has been like because I purposly don't talk about it here, though I have provided glimpses. But, while I do worthy work, I am usually trying to do that work while everyone in the world is trying to stop me. So this is what I say to them:

Kiss my ass! I'm outta here!


  1. Um, dearie... God taking FOUR YEARS to help you out doesn't say much for His power of intervention here on Earth, do it?? Maybe he's been away on business or something...

    ANYWAY, having heard your tales of woe (or "woah!" as the case may be) I, too, am thrill-a-fied to hear that you're OUTTA there. Maybe the Something Good that's going 'round down here is making it's way up there?? All y'all other Yankees, be lookin' for something nice to come your way, maybe!!!

  2. I know I've been here for four years to learn something, and oh boy, have I!

  3. Hey Flannery, while I wish the best for you, and I am glad that you are happy, I never wish anybody to get laid off.

    I was shown the door at a company while my newborn son was in the NICU, and I can say without hesitation that the stress almost killed me.

  4. That is so awesome!

    A few weeks ago, the principal of this school came to my room and closed the door. I knew that she was planning to tell me that she didn't want me back next year-- I've been pretty open in my contempt for how the place is run. She asked me what my plans for next year, and I gave her my notice that I was quitting. It just about knocked her on her ass. Hehehehe.

  5. Skyler's Dad- Oh my god, I just read your reply. Please tell me that the "self-adjusting universe" you speak of took care of the dick that was responsible for that.

    BTW, I have quoted you many times on the phrase "the universe is generally self-adjusting" I may have to start paying you royalties.

  6. Very nice. The best thing that ever happened for my wife and I was her getting laid off.

  7. FYI: Grant Miller Media is hiring for it's new branch office in Cleveland.

  8. And additionally, to Skyler's Dad, there is a special level in Hell for whomever fired you while your son was in the NICU.

    The best part is, the person that fired you knows this in their heart of hearts.

  9. Congrats! I've been laid off more times than I want to admit in the blogosphere ... and I always ended up somewhere a little bit better. Take advantage of the opportunity.

  10. And what of severance packages? They can be beautiful things.

  11. Been there. Getting laid off from a sucky job is the greatest thing ever.

  12. It seem odd congratulating you for being laid off, but hell, if you're happy. Congrats.

  13. I'm always disturbed by the in-between-job times when money's tight and nothing is certain, but it looks like you have a good shot at not having that problem for toolong. And the initial feeling of ecstasy at losing misery is always liberating.

    hee hee

    do something obnoxius on your way out. ;)

  14. A door closing, a window opening and all that.

    And as my mum says, "Every baby brings a loaf of bread with him."

    (well, she said that to my brother who had his second baby and they were worried about their money situation."

    She also says: He who went to Seville, lost his chair.

    Yeah, I'll do a post about that.