Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Lenny & Squiggy's New Years Predictions

Hello, suckeroos... and suckerettes! We gotta brain to pick with you! We bet you think you've got this year all figured out. But me and Squig know different. So, without further ado we present: Stuff that's gonna happen this year.



The Economy


We're all gonna be broke. But there's nothin' wrong with that. We've always been broke, right Squig? But that's what neighbors are for. Whenever you need something, just march down the steps, fling open their door, and ask them if you can borrow a cup of pork or something.





Entertainment





The entertainment word du jour for this year is "free" and "cheap." When you're tired of rolling balls down at the Pizza Bowl, why not just get together with your neighbors and play songs you wrote. You could use one of our songs, something like "Only Women Cry" or "So's Your Old Testament." The important thing is to drown your sorrows with your friends. This is good medicine and don't forget the beer. Remember what Mary Poppins told you: A case of Schatz beer is a spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.



The Environment



Walking is the new hybrid. You've got a battery and you've definately got gas. Take our advice and take a hike. There's more money for beer that way and you won't be wreckin' the ozone.





And there you have the news that's yet to be. Everything else is for you to know and me to find out!

Edited to add: Lines in italics (excluding this one) are Lenny and Squiggy lines from the show Laverne and Shirley. No plagiarism intended here, I just wanted to talk like them...

9 comments:

  1. Don't forget all the exercise you can get by biting down on the palm of your hand when a hot chick walks by.

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  2. Prediction:

    Hair Gel will be a hot commodity!

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  3. "So's Your Old Testament" is going to become a regular part of my conversations now!

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  4. Walking is dangerous here in Los Angeles. It makes people suspicious. Also, this seems like an excellent place to say that I do a magnificent Squiggy impression.

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  5. Spooky: Of course! New trends in diet and exercise!

    Jeff: When isn't it?

    SD: Always looking to expand a brother's vocabulary!

    WWW: Welcome! I'd love to hear it. I do a pretty good Laverne.

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  6. The question remains: what does the new year have in store for the "Big Ragu"?

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  7. This makes me glad I'm all stocked up on hair pomade.

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  8. Some Guy: The future is always bright for the Big Ragu.

    Chancelucky: I love that line. I wish I could claim that one. That's an actual line from the show. In fact, I should go through and note that in the post.

    Bubs: It is the year of the pompador.

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