FFF #26 - 2010 Senses
"What do you see when you close your eyes?" he asked between kisses. His hands caught in her hair as they lingered near the archway, her back pressed against a marble column.
How could she tell him about the random parade of images marching through her mind? What a funny question to ask! She opened her eyes and looked at him directly in the left eye, then the right and back again. She wondered if she should even dare to speak and break the spell her inner reptile had cast on her. If I have to explain, I'll have to think...and then all the magic will end.
She leaned in and resumed kissing him, turning his body so that they switched places and he was now pinned. She unbuttoned his sport coat and reached inside with both hands and placed them on his sides. She felt bone, then meat, then bone through his linen shirt as she moved her hands up and down his ribcage, creating a xylophone symphony of sensations. The textures of the silky lining of the sport coat and the linen shirt combined and equalled a thrill greater than their parts. His heat warmed her hands and innards.
What do I see? Zebras running, molten silver, cymbal crash...
"I need to know..." he said, shivering as the sun set. He moved his hands from her hair down and across her shoulder blades, settling at the small of her back and pulling her closer.
Neon signs, wheat fields, lightning...
"No," she exhaled.
Footsteps fell, softly at first then louder, their doppler effect cooling them. She stepped back. He ran his hands through his hair and smiled at her.
"Come with me," he said and gestured for her hand.
She gave it to him and he brought it to his lips. After a swift, sweet brush, he pulled her in to his side and led her to the terrace. The footsteps faded as the sun sank into the horizon. Twilight and sunset entertwined and threw shadows and sparkles everywhere. Lilacs hummed with fragrance as the wind danced.
She leaned her head against his shoulder. He reached across and pulled her close. He looked into her eyes and asked, "What do you see when you open your eyes?"
Submitted for Friday Flash Fiction with Cormac's Starter Sentence in Bold.
Labels: Friday Flash Fiction
15 Comments:
Very, very romantic! What are you doing later this evening?
Doc
Saturday, March 27, 2010 3:10:00 PM
A great piece Flannery. Romantic and well written. :-)
Sunday, March 28, 2010 7:23:00 AM
Thanks Doc and David! I really went out of my comfort zone to write/post this.
Sunday, March 28, 2010 9:57:00 AM
Flannery, agree with Doc about this being such a sweet, romantic piece....
...although the image of zebras running was amusing to me for some reason...maybe cos they were on their hind legs and...
Never mind...
Great piece!!
Sunday, March 28, 2010 9:05:00 PM
Crybbe666: Thank you!
You know I almost said "zebras racing." But I suppose that might have taken it to a NASCAR place...
Sunday, March 28, 2010 9:33:00 PM
This was fantastic -- and I'm not a mushy kind of fellow ;)
The stark images and last line -- very fine writing
Monday, March 29, 2010 2:59:00 PM
Thank you very much, Rohrbacher! I like to keep things to the point. This was new ground for me too...I'm glad I took a risk.
Monday, March 29, 2010 3:17:00 PM
"If I have to explain, I'll have to think...and then all the magic will end."
Excellent. Really excellent. In your face romance without the as rohrbacjer said, without the mush.
Moments like that are not thought about, they are felt. You made that come through very well.
Monday, March 29, 2010 5:32:00 PM
Thank you so much, MRMacrum! I wanted to get to the feelings in this and stay there. And as far as romance goes, my motto is "Less talk, more rock."
Tuesday, March 30, 2010 8:16:00 AM
"Less talk, more rock." - good words to live by. Well done.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:10:00 PM
You do romantic so well! I was so very taken at the end. What a great read!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010 8:32:00 PM
WellesFan: Thank you!
Nicole: High praise, indeed. I was nervous about posting this and not sure I would hit the mark. I'm glad I did it now. :-)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010 9:21:00 PM
I have to second everyone on this. Romance sans maudlin mush is a daunting task, but you pulled it off.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 10:21:00 AM
Thank you, Randal. I'm going to high-five myself now.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 4:52:00 PM
I think something wonderful can be done with the phrase "xylophone symphony"-- like the tile of a book or a new blogg or something.
::sigh:: I dunno if i should try MY hand @ FFF because something completely different occurred to ME to pen with that entry...
Yours, however, 'twas much nicer!!
Saturday, April 10, 2010 2:56:00 PM
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