It's going to take a team to shop on Black Friday, folks. In order to even cross the threshold of any marketplace, I'm going to need security and I'd love to have Worf there to clear a path, guard my back and to have phasers ready and set to stun. It will also be handy have him along so that we can use his access to the transporter and have our packages beamed directly home. Maybe he'd be willing to drive us in the shuttle craft, eliminating any parking problems we may face.
I'd love to shop with Celine Dion on this frenzied day of shopping. Her goofiness will keep us all in stitches as we haggle and struggle our way through the mall. She will also have a fresh perspective on what to get the person on my shopping list who has everything, though I'm sure I will have to say no over and over again to the suggestion that I pick up several ounces of her signature cologne. If we're stuck in a long line somewhere, she could entertain the masses by singing Christmas carols.
Dirty will need to come too. She is a seasoned Black Friday shopper and her mad Treo skills can save us much time by helping us to track down where we need to go to be sure to get that hot item that is hard to find. Besides, I will need someone with me who will be game for making fun of people coming and going out of Hot Topic.
And, I'm sorry I don't remember his name (please let me know in the comments if you think of it) but the guy from Barneys New York who commentates on VH-1's I Love the 80's. He's savvy about retail and fashion and he will be frank with me about the gifts I pick out, telling me when I begin to get overly sentimental. Also, I'm sure he'll be able to impress the clerks with his celebrity and coax them to get us discounts. Besides, his cutting wit and keen observations will help us greatly as we people watch along the way.
We will shop till we drop and then head over to the Martini Lounge for overpriced drinks and overly gourmet food. But there will be many hunky bartenders and waiters who will fawn over us as we rest our weary feet, satisfied with the day's purchases.