Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Interview Granted!

After I completed all the paperwork in triplicate, Grant Miller, of Grant Miller Media, kindly granted my request for an interview. As you will notice he's truly insightful...

1. You were an English major. Kill, fuck or marry - Grendel, John Milton's Satan or Theodore Dreiser.

Sigh. I was not an English major, though I do speak English. But, since I was a well-rounded classicist, I think I can tackle your question with some authority.

Kill: Theodre Dreiser. I would need to off this poor, depressed little midwestern man before he beats me to it. He would totally not be my type as he would bore me to tears, never getting to the point.

Fuck: Grendel. He's the original bad boy. 'Nuff said.

Marry: John Milton's Satan. He just needs the love of a good woman to turn things around and I am that woman.

2. How is it fair that record and entertainment companies reap huge fortunes from "American Idol" while the amatuer performers, often lacking agents or industry knowledge, get only a fraction?

It's not fair at all because life is not fair, sweetie. Anyone who thinks they can stand up to the powers that be in the music industry and maintain their "integrity" will find themselves playing for coins on a street corner and/or hanging out with Constantine Maroulis. However, if they play the game for a while, they can break away and produce their own work. It's called paying your dues. Everyone must do it and since most American Idol winners kind of skip that stage, it is only just that they pay the piper in some way, i.e. working for peanuts.

3. Was David Sedaris shorter than you expected? I didn't expect him to be tall, but never imagined I'd look down at him.

No, he was as short as I imagined him to be. Though he was bulkier than I expected.

4. You're from Cleveland. Recite the lyrics to Huey Lewis and the News' "Heart of Rock and Roll" without looking.

New York, New York
Isn't everything you think
It's nothing like a Baton Rouge

LA, Kansas City, Detroit
That's not where
I want to be

Then I hear the music,
the sweet sweet music
And then I realize
It's the same old
Back beat rhythm and
The heart of rock and roll
Is still beating...

How was that?

5. Why should people read your blog?

I'll give you ten good reasons:

  1. It's important that people keep tabs on Mel Gibson and they can do so by coming here and getting all their Mel Gibson alerts free of charge and in a convenient package.

  2. My blog can sometimes be the "poor man's Grant Miller Media" because I find it hard not to rip off your bits from time to time. (See: Tags below) People seem to like your blog.

  3. Well, Dale reads it. That ought to be good enough for most people.

  4. My grammar is exemplary.

  5. No pictures of cats. Edited to add...OK one picture of a cat.

  6. I try to change the look every now and then, to keep it lively.

  7. I am loyal; if you read me regularly and comment often, I'll read you. And I link.

  8. It's a blog free of emoticons, abbreviations, and footnotes.

  9. I never call anyone a "sick, deviant fuck."

  10. I'm married to John Milton's Satan.

Thank you so much, Grant Miller, for being a regular reader and for taking time away from your busy schedule to interview me. I'd love to have the opportunity to return the favor. I'm a huge fan of yours and I appreciate very much that you have kindly pointed your readers in my direction. You are the Blogfather.


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  2. Haven't you ever wanted to call someone a sick, deviant fuck?

    So, what is Mel Gibson up to these days?

  3. This is a quality interview. However, because I am John Milton Satan’s wife’s best girlfriend, I find it necessary to point out some flaws.

    1. You have shown pictures of YOUR cat and I can prove it.

    2. As you stated, you were not an English major, you were in fact a Classical Medieval Studies Major. Maybe you should explain to everyone exactly what a Classical Medieval Studies Major is. It’s pretty nifty!

    3. You are native Cantonian, not a Clevelander. Although you, like myself, lived there for quite some time and you also diligently commute there two hours every day where you personally set the standards of education ablaze.

    My top three reasons for reading your blog:
    1. You’re spunky.
    2. You know how to keep rebel rousers in line.
    3. You bravely allow yourself to be interviewed by Grant Miller. I would ask him to interview me, but his eyebrow intimidates me.

  4. Nice interview and nice dig!

    Mel's probably off learning another language to be hateful in Beckeye.

  5. and here I've been readin' yo' stuff 'cuz it's pithy. Who knew?

  6. Hold on a sec-- I need to go put on a tie to read this...

  7. Awesome interview!

    Grant Miller is a sick, deviant fuck.

    I read your blog because you make me want to be a better person.

  8. It's like I finally know you! Thank you, Grant, for peeling back the layers and revealing the true Flannery.

  9. I keep coming back hoping to see cats, but then I get sucked in and I stay. (I hate that I've posted pictures of my cats - I switched it up and recently posted some raccoons!)

    Great interview!

  10. Beckeye, no I haven't really. I'm going to have to check in on Mel; he hasn't done anything alarming enough to land him in the Yahoo entertainment headlines yet.

    Elizabeth: At no time have I ever posted pictures of the cat. I challenge you to come up with one. But thank you for all the sweet things. Maybe you should interview me. know too much about me as it is.

    Dale, what do you mean by "nice dig"?

    BO: Can I use that for a testimonial?

    10K: Indeed.

    Dirty: Thanks!

    Chris: Grant is the great interpreter.

    Tanya: I'm not against people posting pictures of cats. But I don't have any here and thought that might be an interesting distinction.

  11. Only 10 reasons to read your blog? I can think of so many more, especially the nice grammar tips I pick up.

  12. I think I meant 'nice digging'. I can read but I can't rite so gud.

  13. Great interview and great blog! A new fan is born!

  14. If Grant is the Blogfather, you are my Blogmother.

  15. I love this interview, but it would have been much better without such a big picture of Grant.

  16. Skyler's dad: I'm glad you find this useful.

    Dale: Oh, that makes sense.

    Metrobabe: Welcome! And thanks!

    Oh, Phil! Come in here and have some spaghetti! You're too skinny!

    Krisit, I think you're right. Especially since he called me a huge Huey Lewis fan.

  17. Wonderful interview, thoughtful and incisive questions and witty answers.

    Jeez I shoulda stopped by here earlier.

  18. Am I allowed to read your blog even though I have horrible English/grammar skills, & I abbreviate?