1. You were an English major. Kill, fuck or marry - Grendel, John Milton's Satan or Theodore Dreiser.
Sigh. I was not an English major, though I do speak English. But, since I was a well-rounded classicist, I think I can tackle your question with some authority.
Kill: Theodre Dreiser. I would need to off this poor, depressed little midwestern man before he beats me to it. He would totally not be my type as he would bore me to tears, never getting to the point.
Fuck: Grendel. He's the original bad boy. 'Nuff said.
Marry: John Milton's Satan. He just needs the love of a good woman to turn things around and I am that woman.
2. How is it fair that record and entertainment companies reap huge fortunes from "American Idol" while the amatuer performers, often lacking agents or industry knowledge, get only a fraction?
It's not fair at all because life is not fair, sweetie. Anyone who thinks they can stand up to the powers that be in the music industry and maintain their "integrity" will find themselves playing for coins on a street corner and/or hanging out with Constantine Maroulis. However, if they play the game for a while, they can break away and produce their own work. It's called paying your dues. Everyone must do it and since most American Idol winners kind of skip that stage, it is only just that they pay the piper in some way, i.e. working for peanuts.
3. Was David Sedaris shorter than you expected? I didn't expect him to be tall, but never imagined I'd look down at him.
No, he was as short as I imagined him to be. Though he was bulkier than I expected.
4. You're from Cleveland. Recite the lyrics to Huey Lewis and the News' "Heart of Rock and Roll" without looking.
New York, New York
Isn't everything you think
It's nothing like a Baton Rouge
LA, Kansas City, Detroit
That's not where
I want to be
Then I hear the music,
the sweet sweet music
And then I realize
It's the same old
Back beat rhythm and
The heart of rock and roll
Is still beating...
How was that?
5. Why should people read your blog?
I'll give you ten good reasons:
- It's important that people keep tabs on Mel Gibson and they can do so by coming here and getting all their Mel Gibson alerts free of charge and in a convenient package.
- My blog can sometimes be the "poor man's Grant Miller Media" because I find it hard not to rip off your bits from time to time. (See: Tags below) People seem to like your blog.
- Well, Dale reads it. That ought to be good enough for most people.
- My grammar is exemplary.
- No pictures of cats. Edited to add...OK one picture of a cat.
- I try to change the look every now and then, to keep it lively.
- I am loyal; if you read me regularly and comment often, I'll read you. And I link.
- It's a blog free of emoticons, abbreviations, and footnotes.
- I never call anyone a "sick, deviant fuck."
- I'm married to John Milton's Satan.
Thank you so much, Grant Miller, for being a regular reader and for taking time away from your busy schedule to interview me. I'd love to have the opportunity to return the favor. I'm a huge fan of yours and I appreciate very much that you have kindly pointed your readers in my direction. You are the Blogfather.