Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I'm Dick Feagler And Here's A List Of Things I Hate*

I hate Christmas. All those twinkling lights and obnoxious shoppers sparkling with Christmas spirit.

I hate liars. They assume I'm stupid and that I can't tell they're yanking my chain. On the rare occaision that I'm caught by surprise by a lie, I feel like a chump. And no one makes Dick Feagler feel like a chump and gets away with it.

I hate people who undo hard work I've done. Why am I busting my ass, if everything is just going to end up worse than if I'd done nothing at all? I might as well give it all up, grow a beard and head for a cave.

I hate puppies. All that slobber and neediness. And they pee everywhere.

*Not actually written by Dick Feagler, a cranky but well intentioned journalist whom I adore. As far as I know, he has nothing against Christmas or puppies.

10 comments:

  1. "I don't see hookers much in the news anymore. They, to me, are an economic indicator. I worry about this town when the hooker trade goes flat."

    Bwahahahaha!

    I picture him as sort of Lewis Black's cranky old uncle. Yes? No? Maybe?

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  2. Don't be so sure Flannery. I used to work with his daughter, and even she couldn;t stand him.

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  3. There's a broadcast journalist in Cleveland that is super over-the-top, I've seen his stuff on YouTube. My friends and I wonder if elements of his "style" inspired the movie "Anchorman."

    But I can't think of his name.

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  4. Hmm...I don't watch the news much around here. Is he white?

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  5. I sure don't wanna make him a chump.

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  6. I've always loved Dick Feagler. He's the best thing on Sunday morning TV.

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  7. I will find the name of the dude. He's so over-the-top he's awesome.

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