I'm Dick Feagler And Here's A List Of Things I Hate*

I hate Christmas. All those twinkling lights and obnoxious shoppers sparkling with Christmas spirit.

I hate liars. They assume I'm stupid and that I can't tell they're yanking my chain. On the rare occaision that I'm caught by surprise by a lie, I feel like a chump. And no one makes Dick Feagler feel like a chump and gets away with it.

I hate people who undo hard work I've done. Why am I busting my ass, if everything is just going to end up worse than if I'd done nothing at all? I might as well give it all up, grow a beard and head for a cave.

I hate puppies. All that slobber and neediness. And they pee everywhere.

*Not actually written by Dick Feagler, a cranky but well intentioned journalist whom I adore. As far as I know, he has nothing against Christmas or puppies.