Friday, December 24, 2010

Let's Meme Again, Like We Did Last Summer

1. When do you usually know it's the holidays?

As soon as Thanksgiving rolls around and we have to figure out what we're going to do for the Miller Family Christmas party gift exchange.

2. What do you want for Christmas this year?

I want this bankruptcy stuff to finish up so I can relax. Also...Rock Band.
3. Do you go all out with decorations?

Nope. I have two boxes of decorations and the tree. I have this fear that the decorations will multiply and spiral out of control. Then I will have no choice but to leave them up all year around.

4. What are you doing Christmas Eve?

Watching Fred Claus, getting together with the Cap'n and Spooky, going to church for a Christmas pagent, having Chinese buffet and then to my parents so that they can give the girls their gifts.

5. What are you doing Christmas Day?

Opening the presents Santa brought and staying in our PJ's all day long. There will be no meals, only grazing.

6. It's Christmas time. What are you reading?

I'm finishing up An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison. It's a very compelling memoir of her experience as a psychologist suffering with bipolar disorder.

7. Favorite movie to watch during the holidays?

I can't find my copy of it but, I love to watch Love Actually while wrapping presents.

8. Favorite Christmas song?

This one (and don't give me any crap about it):

9. Favorite holiday drink?


10. How is your Christmas shopping going?

I'm done...I hope.

11. If you could spend Christmas Day anywhere else, where would you spend it?

I'd like to take my kids back in time to 1995 and spend time with Doc's parents, who we lost well before the girls could know them.

12. Any holiday traditions?

Our traditions have been a bit rocked since our matriarch passed this year. So we're hoping to start some new ones. Like a white elephant gift exchange and a Christmas poker tournament.

13. Favorite thing about the holidays?

Sitting around the Christmas tree with family. Also, bursting out into spontaneous caroling. My Work Wendy and I were singing "O Come All Ye Faithful" in the work kitchen while filling the dishwasher when Jeanne joined in with the alto part. We sounded awesome!

Thanks for the tag Dr. Monkey!

I tag the following folks:

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks
Skyler's Dad
Some Guy

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Uncle Ralph Chimes In: Merry Christmas, Goddammit!

As you know, I'm an old softie. I appreciate the little things in life and for me, Christmas is all about the little things. It's all about babies and children and cookies. It's about saying please and thank you and Merry Christmas. It's about cherishing.

So let's stop for a second and think: How can we cherish? You probably don't know the answer for this, do you. Do you even know what "cherish" means, Johnny? It means to hold someone dear and to keep them fondly in your mind. It means take your eyes off your goddamned phone when I'm talking to you. It means look around and behold.

We're not all a bunch of slicked down avatars wandering around a virtual world to serve your adventure. We are not stage dressing for your biopic. We are people with minds and hearts. We are all cut from the same cloth, regardless of our age, our color or whether or not we can stand to listen to Nickelplay or Coldback. We are all part of the human family. And for God's sake, we have to look out for each other. Because if we don't, the government will. I've lived long enough to promise you this: They'll fuck it up and you can take that to the Federal Reserve, sport.

You may think I'm a mean old coot and you'd be right. I don't suffer asshats. That is because I cherish. I am here to be a voice for life and courtesy. And I am cranky because you never listen. So do me a favor, chief. Stop virtually caring. Don't send me e-cards for my birthday. Don't invite me to be your "friend." I am already that.

So, sit down with me. Listen to my stories because I've lived a lot and learned the hard way. I can help you skip some major pitfalls. And, in return, I'll listen to you, if you could find it in your heart to stop ending your sentences with "yo." And you can remind me what it's like to be a kid. Because pretty soon, I won't be around anymore. And pretty soon, neither will you be. So why don't we call a truce and make this bus ride a bit less miserable.

Come on. I'll buy you a cookie.

Monday, December 06, 2010

What A Relief!

I was very pleased to hear that Tijuana was starting to gear up their tourism industry since there are "Far fewer beheadings and public shoot-outs" these days.

I mean, I guess a few beheadings and shoot-outs can add a little spice to a Mexican vacation. But you don't want too many.