Let's Meme Again, Like We Did Last Summer

1. When do you usually know it's the holidays?


As soon as Thanksgiving rolls around and we have to figure out what we're going to do for the Miller Family Christmas party gift exchange.

2. What do you want for Christmas this year?

I want this bankruptcy stuff to finish up so I can relax. Also...Rock Band.
3. Do you go all out with decorations?

Nope. I have two boxes of decorations and the tree. I have this fear that the decorations will multiply and spiral out of control. Then I will have no choice but to leave them up all year around.

4. What are you doing Christmas Eve?

Watching Fred Claus, getting together with the Cap'n and Spooky, going to church for a Christmas pagent, having Chinese buffet and then to my parents so that they can give the girls their gifts.


5. What are you doing Christmas Day?

Opening the presents Santa brought and staying in our PJ's all day long. There will be no meals, only grazing.


6. It's Christmas time. What are you reading?

I'm finishing up An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison. It's a very compelling memoir of her experience as a psychologist suffering with bipolar disorder.


7. Favorite movie to watch during the holidays?

I can't find my copy of it but, I love to watch Love Actually while wrapping presents.

8. Favorite Christmas song?

This one (and don't give me any crap about it):





9. Favorite holiday drink?

Mead



10. How is your Christmas shopping going?

I'm done...I hope.


11. If you could spend Christmas Day anywhere else, where would you spend it?

I'd like to take my kids back in time to 1995 and spend time with Doc's parents, who we lost well before the girls could know them.


12. Any holiday traditions?

Our traditions have been a bit rocked since our matriarch passed this year. So we're hoping to start some new ones. Like a white elephant gift exchange and a Christmas poker tournament.

13. Favorite thing about the holidays?

Sitting around the Christmas tree with family. Also, bursting out into spontaneous caroling. My Work Wendy and I were singing "O Come All Ye Faithful" in the work kitchen while filling the dishwasher when Jeanne joined in with the alto part. We sounded awesome!

Thanks for the tag Dr. Monkey!

I tag the following folks:

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks
Skyler's Dad
Some Guy
Genn6

Merry Christmas everyone!

My Phone Is Broke

It may be time to switch providers. I'm currently with AT&T...it's the most expensive provider out there from what I could tell from the 10 minutes of research I did.

I'll probably go to Revol.

I just thought you ought to know.

They seem to have the coolest new phones with the latest technology, like touch tone dialing. And great weight.

Why I Fell In Love With Glee

When I was a kid, I needed music. I wanted to play music. I would listen to certain songs over and over again just to absorb the sounds. When I moved into adolescence, it was more about the lyrics. I defined myself with music, what I played, what I listened to spoke to who I was.

In high school, I was in the jazz band, the concert band, marching band, and small ensembles. Lyrics faded to the back and the vocals represented another instrument. I wasn't so much interested in what people were singing about, but rather the landscapes they painted with sound.

In college, I started out as a music major and quickly learned that I didn't want to study music. There wasn't any joy in the music department. It seemed like all the wacky and fun people I went through band with in high school went somewhere else and I was left with the humorless and the pale oblates that spent all their time alone in practice rooms.

I ended up leaving the music department and joining a much more joyous group of people in the Classical and Medieval Studies program, many of whom were fine musicians in their own right and all of them were ravenous music consumers. I joined the choir to keep involved in music. I did figure out somewhere along the line that I could use my voice to sing. Painful shyness in childhood always prevented me from trying. I grew out of that, though, thanks to the help of alcohol and a need to spread my wings.

Somewhere along the way between college and here, I forgot what music was all about. I've been in choirs here and there. I've done karaoke. I've played Rock Band and Sing Star. But music didn't have the same effect on me and I let it go.

It started to come back to me when American Idol burst onto the scene. I started to remember what it was all about. But then there was Glee. Here was a show that took music I was familiar with and integrated it into the story. And I began to hear the words again, which always escaped me in the past. I would listen to a song and could repeat the melody or even the guitar solo note for note. But ask me what the words are? No dice. Which is ironic since my work is words and I consider myself a writer.

I know how hard you struggle when you write lyrics or poems or even essays. And then to mesh it into music, it's quite an effort. But I couldn't get invested in lyrics at all. But with that first episode of Glee and the first few notes of "Don't Stop Believing," some hard shell cracked around my heart and I got it: The music and the lyrics. And I was moved hard.

It's still difficult for me to hear the words, especially if they are very emotional or manipulative. But if they are on Glee, I get it. It's a gift from the artists on that show. And because they cover songs from many different eras, I am often reintroduced to an old friend of a song that I never knew was so rich and wonderful. I am also open to new songs, their meanings made apparent by the gifted singers on the show.

I get that it's not everyone's cup of tea. But It's the way I take mine. And now you know why.

Do you remember that one time we did that thing?

Yeah, back in the day...It was you and me and that one girl who used to wear the stripey hat? She would never take that thing off...what the hell was her name? Anyway, we we were headed to that one place by the deal behind the place that used to be a Red Barn and we saw those dudes. They were hanging out near the back of that other place across the street. Remember? They were drinking green slurpees and spitting at us.

Anyway, I ran into one of them the other day and he was all like "Ahh!" and I was all "Shut up!" and we laughed and laughed. Then we went out and got some of those hot drinks at that coffee shop near the back of the school off of what used to be Route 62. While we were there they were playing that song by that chick and he got all weepy. And I was like "Aw," and he was like, "I know, right?" And then we laughed until we spit coffee at each other.

After we cleaned up we were walking past the video store that used to be a movie theater and we were remembering the time we all saw that one movie with that guy in it before he was married to that one actress but after he married the other one. That was before the spitting, of course...we were just kids. But we were laughing at how dumb that movie was and I told him you and I still hung out and he was all "No way!" and I was like "Duh!" and we almost got hit by a car when we tried to cross that street over by the green house that burned down.

Anyway, he wanted me to tell you "Hi."

Man, I'm Glad I'm Done With School!

Every now and then I think back to times when I was in school...elementary, secondary, college, graduate school. And I am overcome with relief and pleasure that I'm not there. Don't get me wrong, I loved being in school. But I love even more being able to do what I need to do rather than learning about and preparing to be able to do what I need to do.

Also? No homework. Granted, there's still housework, but I'm not sitting up late, back aching and eyes burning, and writing a paper about something I have a moderate interest in. When I sit down to play Shopmania!, I do experience a twinge of guilt and think: Shouldn't I be doing something better with my time? Possibly, but I'm not required to be doing anything else. No deadlines. No required reading. My mental real estate is all my own. And then I feel glee.

When I stay up late to watch an episode of Mythbusters with my night owl, Lucy, I don't have to worry whether I studied enough for my test. My life is rather free of demands, other than the usual ones that come with being part of a family and a work place and those demands are ones I chose to sign up for. I guess this is what it feels like to have paid your dues.

As we apporoach our third summer in our current house, I think back to the time right before we moved in and my life began to change. It was a time when I took my destiny in my own hands and began to urge that river to change it's course. It was hard. It took a lot of time. I moved back to my hometown and spent over 3 hours a day commuting for year. Then my dreams came true and I was laid off. Less than a week later, I had a job that was nearly perfect for me and had me surrounded by a great group of people. It was also 9 miles from my house.

As a result, the anxiety in my life has dropped significantly. I'm coasting along watching time fly. I wonder if I'm not living up to my potential, though. But I'm comforted in the fact that I rarely ever have so why should I start now? I believe I could write a good novel. I'm pretty sure I could drive my way up some corporate ladder. But I just made Super Quota on Level 3.5 and the boss man is upping the ante...I think I'll play one more round...

Valentine's Day

I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

--Sullivan Balloou, Civil War Letter

I forget in my day to day life what love is. I move through the motions and apply myself to tasks on my list. I am frustrated, bored, amused, tired, pleased, surprised, and moved. But these fleelings are fleeting and I go to bed, get up and do it again. But there are moments when Lucy holds my face with both hands and kisses me sweetly and smiles. Or Riley shares a laugh with me about something that she just now understands. Or Doc laughs and pulls me into a bear hug. Or my Grandma emparts something profound from her life. Or my Mom struggles to hide the fact she's bluffing. Or my Dad lights up when the girls rush to greet him. Or Spooky spouts a perfectly crafted zinger. Or the Cap'n loses himself in laughter. Or Rachel nods after hearing me talk about the kids and says, "Just Wait..." And I remember love.

Love can be grand. It can be diamonds and Carribean cruises. It can be violins and chocolate. While these are soaring winds that can lift you for a while, I prefer the small, steady flow of love's everyday movements. If you feel the small breezes and note their movements, you will see how much love you have. Carry that with you in a small jar around your neck and open it up when things are bleak. Let the spirit of love soothe your throbbing temple.

And please accept this kiss I blow to you today. It carries with it my hopes for your that you are happy and loved.

Happy Valentine's Day, dear friend.

Retirment Day

Well, my good friends, Couch #2 is on it's way out to pasture. Having joined our family in the summer of 2004, it has served us well for nearly 5 years. It's extra long (just like Elvis') and with the 4-foot long ottoman, it could contain the entire family plus a cat, even to this day.

Alas, it's time for the old guard to step down and make room for the new. There's a large hole where the armest meets the base of the couch and it swallows very important items like keys, remotes, phones and the neighbor kids. There is a hole in the fabric on the armest that was barely noticable, until Lucy made it bigger with a pair of kids scissors.

It's hard, though, to part with it. I grieved as I stretched out on it last night, with the girls snuggled up to me. We bought this couch when Lucy was just born. It's wooly and light brown, so it doesn't show dirt. The cushions are vast and plentiful, perfect for fort building. It's shape is modern and clean looking. Just thinking about moving it out of here is breaking my heart. It's been so central to our lives.

But time marches on. And my parents want to give us their buttercream leather couch, chair and ottoman. It's solid and like new, no holes in this one. Also, the pillows across the back are sewn on, so they won't get flung around the house. And it's leather, so it's hopefully going to be a bit more durable and easy to clean. I'm lucky to inherit such a lovely set of furniture. But still...

The old couch holds so many memories and is so comfy I can't stand to part with it completely. The plan is to move it out into our garage, where our bar is and where the grown-ups hang out. I worry that a mouse might make it's home in there and make it completely unfit for human lounging.

In the long run, it's all for the best. But, damn. I'll miss the good naps and cozy spaciousness Couch #2 offers. So, thank you, old buddy, for cradling me and my babies, for giving my kids fort material and for offering such a cozy spot to snuggle with Doc. I'll never forget you.