Every now and then I think back to times when I was in school...elementary, secondary, college, graduate school. And I am overcome with relief and pleasure that I'm not there. Don't get me wrong, I loved being in school. But I love even more being able to do what I need to do rather than learning about and preparing to be able to do what I need to do.
Also? No homework. Granted, there's still housework, but I'm not sitting up late, back aching and eyes burning, and writing a paper about something I have a moderate interest in. When I sit down to play Shopmania!, I do experience a twinge of guilt and think: Shouldn't I be doing something better with my time? Possibly, but I'm not required to be doing anything else. No deadlines. No required reading. My mental real estate is all my own. And then I feel glee.
When I stay up late to watch an episode of Mythbusters with my night owl, Lucy, I don't have to worry whether I studied enough for my test. My life is rather free of demands, other than the usual ones that come with being part of a family and a work place and those demands are ones I chose to sign up for. I guess this is what it feels like to have paid your dues.
As we apporoach our third summer in our current house, I think back to the time right before we moved in and my life began to change. It was a time when I took my destiny in my own hands and began to urge that river to change it's course. It was hard. It took a lot of time. I moved back to my hometown and spent over 3 hours a day commuting for year. Then my dreams came true and I was laid off. Less than a week later, I had a job that was nearly perfect for me and had me surrounded by a great group of people. It was also 9 miles from my house.
As a result, the anxiety in my life has dropped significantly. I'm coasting along watching time fly. I wonder if I'm not living up to my potential, though. But I'm comforted in the fact that I rarely ever have so why should I start now? I believe I could write a good novel. I'm pretty sure I could drive my way up some corporate ladder. But I just made Super Quota on Level 3.5 and the boss man is upping the ante...I think I'll play one more round...