My Snotty-Ass Rock N Roll Mix

I volunteered to put together eight songs (plus one bonus track) for Volume 2 of the Green Monkey Music Project over at Splotchy's Joint. I and four others, including Splotchy himself, Chris, Big Shoulders, and Bubs put together our best set of f-you music. I felt I was an authority on this kind of music (not anymore! these guys are the professors of snot...and I say that with affection) and I'm proud to bring a feminine element to the project. Below is my rationale for choosing the eight plus one. There is a thread going through them all and the order is important. It's kind of like a snotty-ass sound track for growing up.

Track 1: Welcome to the Jungle, GNR

I chose this song because it represents a free-for-all of partying, posturing, and aggression. Its title may seem polite to the uninitiated, but I believe it is ironic. Afterall, do you truly welcome someone somewhere by telling them you hope to watch them bleed and scream? It is a classic rock song and one that always makes me feel tough when I listen to it. It also represents a time in one's life when it's all about the party and the hunt.

Track 2: Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana

Here we are now, entertain us. Now that we're in the jungle, we're bored and disillusioned. We've brought our guns and we really can't be bothered to shoot them off at the sky anymore. Oh well, whatever, nevermind...This song defined an era and it still makes me feel like a badass when I listen to it, even though it went mainstream. I have nothing against the main stream per se, but I prefer the fringe.

Track 3: Smile, Lily Allen

So now we've broken up. And you're calling me up on the phone so you can have a little whine and a moan, it's only because you're feeling alone. At first when I see you cry, yeah, it makes me smile Yeah, it makes me smile. At worst I feel bad for a while but then I just smile. Yes the best revenge is a life well-lived. This song's sweetly mocking tone is delighfully skewering.

Track 4: You Outta Know, Alanis Morissette

And now we've broken up and this time it's rougher. And I'm not going to be able to sweetly mock. I'm actually going to tell you off and blame you for everything. This tune is very liberating, for the ladies. It also rocks.

Track 5: Union Maid, The Old Crow Medicine Show

So, we've found ourselves a union man and we're no longer fighting with men, rather fighting The Man. Cause married life ain't hard, when you've got a union card. A union man has a happy life when he's got a union wife. Oh, you can't scare me, I'm sticking to the union 'til the day I die. You don't know how much this song has been going through my mind recently. I'm in a union and I'm married to a union man. Life is sweet when you can flip The Man the bird.

Track 6: SexyBack, Justin Timberlake

OK, I know I'm gonna get some shit for picking this song. But I don't care and neither does JT. He really throws down:

I'm bringing sexy back

Them other fuckers wait till I attack

If that's your girl you better watch your back

Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact

Besides, he did bring sexy back. This song is a prowler and intense. I love the attitude. Besides its got a great beat you can dance to.

Track 7: Survivor, Destiny's Child

So, now we've broken up again and you left saying some pretty mean things, but they never stuck, jerk. Now that you are out of my life, I'm so much better. You thought that I'd be weak without ya, but I'm stronger. I'm a survivor (what). I'm not gonna give up (what). I'm not gon' stop (what). I'm gonna work harder (what). I'm a survivor (what). I'm gonna make it (what). I will survive (what). Keep on survivin'. Once again, we remember that living well is the best revenge. And this time, we're going to rise above petty games. You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet. Cause my momma told me better than that.

Track 8: Married with Children, Oasis

So, now we're married. And I hate the way that even though you know you're wrong you say you're right. I hate the books you read and all your friends. Your music's shite it keeps me up all night. There's no need for you to say you're sorry. Goodbye I'm going home. I don't care no more so don't you worry. Goodbye I'm going home. And it will be nice to be alone for a week or two. But I know that I will be right back here with you. This song captures the unique kind of snotty-assedness felt between married people. Sometimes, you just can't wait to get that other person out of your hair, and when they're gone and reason returns, you realize you've got to pull it together again for the sake of your love, your vows and your children. It's amazing what a cumulative effect a long-term shared history does for the strength of a marriage. Doc's Pass System is nice too.

Super Secret Bonus Track: Add It Up, Violent Femmes

And we're back to free-for-all. I first heard this song on a bootleg copy of a bootleg copy I got from a super cool friend of my older cousin when I was about 13. I listened to it in secret; it was the first song I'd ever heard that used the f-word. It's delicious and malicious because I wait my whole life for just one...DAY after day I get angry and I will say that the day is in my sight when Ill take a bow and say goodnight.

Goodnight!

Many thanks to Splotcy for the opportunity to participate!