Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Cold Comfort: A Poem

The sun scorches my retinas
As I dig for my shades
In the vast depths of
My Fossil handbag.

I climb in the car
And start her up
I back out of the drive
Every motion disrupting my equilibrium

I try to take comfort
That there is no traffic
In the near future
But I stop and buy Kleenex

No amount of gale force
I can muster
will dislodge the obstacles
In my sinus cavities

I sit in my cube
I listen to a trainer
I read about HIPAA
I sniffle

Curses! This cold...
Why now? Why me?
The snot in my head
Blocks my brain from learning

Thank God they all think I'm stupid.

9 comments:

  1. I'm sure they don't think you are stupid! I'm betting they know that you have a cold and are making the best of it!

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  2. Give them the poem and re-poll them.

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  3. I think it's actually against HIPAA regulations to use HIPAA in a poetic context. The fines for this could be staggering.

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  4. If it helps, I think you're a genius.

    Or, to translate for the cold-impaired:

    Ib id hebs, I dink oor a geedius.

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  5. What a lovely poem. I can identify - I hate it when boogers are hung up on my nose stud and I can't blow them through.

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  6. Beautiful Flannery.

    "I sit in my cube
    I listen to a trainer
    I read about HIPAA
    I sniffle"

    Might I suggest changing
    I read about HIPAA
    I sniffle

    To-

    I read about HIPAA
    I try to take my own life with my staple remover.

    Nothing in the world is worse than listening about HIPAA.

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  7. Having just gotten over a wicked rotten 3-week-long cold, may I suggest you go to bed tonight with some Robitussin nighttime formula?

    I also had a bad cough with my cold, so I used the decongestant/cough suppresant/knock-me-on-my-ass-for-8-hours-please formula. Saved my life.

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  8. Raven: Oh, I know they don't...they just are underestimating me at this point. Fortunately.

    Dale: I'll do that.

    BSUWG: Uh-oh...

    Deadspot: Thag you.

    GKL: Thanks and ew. I'm glad I don't have a nose ring.

    SD: Hee!

    Vikki: I've been taking generic, green-death formula NyQuil. Gotta love that giant fucking Q.

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  9. Your site is very lovely.
    I love this writing.
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete