Friday, September 07, 2007

Face Melter

Thank you, Barbie Guitar, for truly melting my face and causing my brain to misfire. Your combination microphone/built-in amp creates feedback that only Yoko Ono would dearly covet. Your interminable fuzzy playback of "Survivor" by Destiny's Child has nearly killed my love for that song. Seriously, I've never gone from mildly irritated to balls-to-the-wall migrane this fast.

Without you, Barbie Guitar, I would have no reason to take Xanax.

Thanks. No really, I mean it.


  1. I didn't even know there was a guitar in "Survivor." Hmm. Interesting.

    I bet most people who create noise-toys don't actually have kids. Or they don't buy their own products.

  2. Wishing you a dark room, a cool wash cloth, and ear muffs...

  3. hmmm... I thought we had better technology than that. Reminds me of a Bugs Bunny microphone I got when I was about 8 (mid 70's technology) that had HORRIBLE feedback...

    I guess 'cuz it's being given to a kid that we allow such shitty products to go forth. I wonder if it's made w/lead paint, too??

  4. A co-worker of mine recently lost their home in a fire, along with most of their belongings. The rest of us sent her care packages of toys, clothes, stuffed animals for her 6 year old daughter. Skyler wanted to send her an old toy of his that was an electronic singing sesame street toy.

    Am I going to hell for passing off the most hideous toy in the world to a family in need?

  5. SKY DAD: depends. I hear you're pretty safe as long as you don't Deny the Holy Spirit:

  6. Once again, I'm pretty sure Beckeye's right.

    Call Yoko, she'll take it off your hands.

  7. Beckeye: I'm not sure it does either. But that didn't stop Barbie from including a distorted version of the original that plays over and over and over...

    Raven: From your lips to God's ears, darling.

    Ghost: It might be. I guess I'd better through it out.

    SD: Nah. Nothing ever done for a child is wasted.

    Dale: I lost her number...can you hook me up?

  8. LMAO @ Yoko Ono!! I can only imagine.

  9. Or we can just sing to Yoko --

    Imagine there's no residuals...

  10. Can you use that for Guitar Hero? Because that'd be cool.