Parents Say The Darndest Things!

Seriously. I'm amazed at some of the things that come out of my mouth:

• Why is there cat food in this umbrella?
• Don't drink the jelly
• Butter is not a toy
• No, I will not smell your hand
• Because I said so
• Please don't put snow down your pants
• Why did you sit on that egg?
• Who put my keys in the freezer?
• It's not a good idea to dance naked in the window, even if you do give me the thumbs up sign
• Don't stick the knife in the toaster
• Take the scissors out of your mouth
• Underwear does not go on your head
• Don't put roller skates in the bathtub
• Take the pretzels out of your nose
• Put the sword down
• Poop is not finger paint

Special thanks to Doc for his contributions...