Sunday, January 06, 2008

Celebrities Who Have Appeared In My Dreams: God

Last night I was having a dream that I was in the kitchen talking to Doc. I was telling him about something that ended with me flipping the double bird to God and yelling "Eff You!"

I woke up feeling a bit uncomfortable, both about what I had done in my dream and because I had to go to the bathroom. Half awake, I rolled to my side and made to swing my legs over and stand up at the same time. Because I had socks on, I didn't realize that my feet were entangled in a fuzzy blanket that is not usually on the bed. And as I made my forward/upward progress off the bed without my legs underneath me, I was dropped on my knees with an almighty force.

I knealt on the floor breathless. I was overcome with rue. Earlier that evening, I had been talking to Elizabeth about a friend of ours who had never "been knocked to his knees" by life. As my knees throbbed and my wrists burned, I felt smote. I thought, who the hell was I to judge whether or not someone had had any hard knocks.

"You OK?" Doc asked, after having been gasped awake by the holy thud I made.

"Yes," I said as I recaptured my breath and made my way to the bathroom, thankful that no one was awake to see what must have been a spectacular fall.

When I returned to bed, Doc began to tell me about a dream he had. Then I told him about mine. He laughed.

"I probably shouldn't have flipped God off," I admitted.

"Probably not," he said.

I related this dream to Hot Lemon on the phone this morning. He said, "You know that kind of thing never happens to Pastafarians..."


  1. Hmmm... God ..... Doc ..... just two letters reversed. Coincidence?

  2. Well, it never DOES!! That is, we may dream of giving God the finger, but not being knocked to our knees.

    That preacher-man who said bears have claws for shredding veggies in the Garden of Eden could do an entire 30 minute sermon-lecture on this event, I'm sure.

  3. "Pastafarians?"

    I've heard of "Trustafarians," but...

    What did the Big Guy Upstairs do, to merit the single digit salute?

    BTW, the B.L.W. is back.

  4. There are no coincindences, CP.

    I'm sure you've got a 30-minute lecture in you HL.

    WP: Hot Lemon could explain or you can read about it Here.

    As far as the big guy goes, I was relating a story to Doc that Hot Lemon told me which ended in him flipping the double bird. I just repeated it for dramatic effect. Alas, I shouldn't have...

  5. Oh yeah, I saw the flying spaghetti monster on Melifourous (can't rember how to spell it) Pants blog, two years ago.

  6. That's great. Flannery got her ass God. ;)