Thursday, December 06, 2007

It's Been Ages Since I've Been Tagged

Some Guy did it. With any tag, there are rules; here they are:

If you are one of the carriers of this story virus (i.e. you have been tagged and choose to contribute to it), you will have one responsibility, in addition to contributing your own piece of the story: you will have to tag at least one person that continues your story thread. So, say you tag five people. If four people decide to not participate, it's okay, as long as the fifth one does. And if all five participate, well that's five interesting threads the story spins off into.So, here goes:

I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)

My first idea was to put the applesauce in the microwave. Hey, I was still tired. Could I scoop some out and put whipped cream on it? No, too solid. Why was it so damn cold in here? I walked over to the thermostat and saw that the heat hadn't clicked on all night and the temperature had dropped substantially overnight. Now, tired and hungry, I opened the access panel on the heater. There's the problem: why was someone cooking a duck in here? (SamuraiFrog)

I bent down and scooped up the uncooked duck carcass. There was no way I was going to let it go to waste, especially considering I had applesauce on hand. I placed it in a roasting pot and went back to reset the heater. As I continued to wake up, I realized that my roommate had spent the night at his girlfriend's place and couldn't have put the duck there. "How the hell did it get there?" I wondered. Just then, an already odd situation became even stranger. The lifeless duck animated, flapped its featherless wings, and began to speak. (Some Guy)

"So," he quacked, "What's with the Spiderman p.j.'s? What are you, 12? God, this place is a dump."

The duck looked around, apprising the place like he was being filmed for Flip this House.

"See," he indicated the ceiling with his scorched wing, "There's water spots on the ceiling! You've got a leak...and your vinyl flooring is warped...and your furnace is shot." The duck shook his head and folded his wings in front of his chest. "We've got a lot of work to do in six weeks."

I rubbed my eyes and blinked, "What?"

"Get yourself some coffee, throw that damn applesauce out and grab you're keys...we're going to Lowes." (Flannery Alden)

I tag:
Evil Genius
Hot Lemon


  1. I need that duck to help me with my house.

  2. Wow, I did it before I knew I was tagged. ;)

  3. I'll get around to it. The duck keeps insisting he knows how to get to Lowe's, but we have been driving around for hours. Why the hell did I let him drive?

  4. Though I'm sure Arthur Blank is no fan of this, I am. I love this tangent and everyone needs a duck like that in their life.

  5. Who knew duck carcasses would turn out to be so handy?

  6. can we end this by discovering it was all a dream in a 7 year old boy's head??

    ...oh, wait, that's been done.