The Sexy Six

The lovely Beth has tagged me as one of six sexy gals to answer this meme:

The Rules

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

After four and a half years of blogging, I'm not sure what you don't know about me, so this is going to be quite a challenge. But, like Beth, I love making lists, so here we go!

1. I am to reality TV as George Will is to baseball. If there were daily stats, I would read them. I study the contestants, the show, the judges, the rules, the sets, the production value, the music. It is a science to me. I could probably write a book about American Idol or Survivor. I'm also pretty good at predicting outcomes, but that's because...
   
2. I'm psychic. At least my Grandma thinks so. I'm not sure myself. Though I did know the moment my Grandpa (on the other side of the family) passed away. I also predicted several peoples' coming out of the closet. But this is probably because...
   
3. I study people. I observe them, sometimes to the point of staring. But I can often tell what's going on behind their eyes and this gives me insight that may be confused with psychic powers. But I don't try to convince anyone I'm not psychic. It gives me an edge when...
   
4. I play poker and the best part about poker is it gives me a chance to stare people down. What's not to love about having the opportunity to stare at people and it's not taboo? I especially like trying to stare down my parents. My Dad is nearly unreadable. My Mom gets really serious, and if she stops breathing, she's bluffing. But what's even better than staring, is...
   
5. I love being in the moment and outside the moment at the same time. When I've got a good hand in poker, I love managing my expressions and governing my emotions, while still savoring the knowledge that I have the nuts. It's quite a challenge, but it makes me feel alive. Is that cliche? If it is, then great! Because...
   
6. I love cliches. The more hackneyed the better. They crack me up and I enjoy the ensuing groans after I lay one out there. Some of my favorites are:
   
   "They don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of"
   "I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger with the crabs"
   "Balls to the wall"
   "'Til the cows come home"
   "Closing the barn door after the horses get loose"
   "That beats a sharp stick in the eye"
   
   In fact, looking at a comprehensive list of cliche's to remind me of the ones I love best, I realized that my speach is overly peppered with them. But what can you do? A leopard can't change her stripes...(BTW: I also love saying them wrong...Because I'm not the sharpest bulb in the tool shed)

So, now I get to find out more about you. Here are six more sexy ladies to contribute:

Red

Spooky

Tanya Espanya

Amy

Genn6

Mix Tape Girl

Raz-a-ma-TAG!

My old pal, Splotchy, has tagged me and, being desparate for material, I accepted. So, while I will put a haiku up later, I'm taking a break and doing a meme!!!

1. Five names you go by:
a. Flannery
b. Jenny
c. Jen
d. Darlin'
e. Jerry (from a mis-addressed response to a support email)

2. Three things you are wearing right now:
a. Faux diamond earrings
b. Doc Martin hiking boots
c. Doc's socks

3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
a. Comments
b. More play time

4. Three people who will probably fill this out:

As Splotchy did, I'll tag a few people and see who salutes.

5. Two things you did last night:
a. Ate some chocolate lava cake
b. Drove in the snow

6. Two things you ate today:
a. A handful of Kashi Fire Roasted Vegetable crackers
b. I will be eating pizza we won for having the best (only) group costume at our work Halloween party.

7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:
a. A needy irrational woman who needed help with reports
b. A very bright trainee who forgot to email me that she was cancelling our phone training

8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
a. Have Thanksgiving with Doc's family
b. Drive

9. Two longest car rides:
a. Canton, Ohio to Florida
b. Canton, Ohio to Morrisburg, ONT

10. Two of your favorite beverages:
a. Diet Coke
b. Mojitos

Okay, I tag:
Jeff
Spooky
Echo

Seven Things You Don't Know About Me...

Skyler's Dad tagged me on this one recently and since I can refuse him nothing, I'll plunge in...

First, the rules: Link to the person that tagged you. Post the rules on your blog. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. My favorite type of humor is executed by initiating a Crazy Ivan or a sudden change in direction. David Sedaris and Douglas Adams are expert at this type of move and I love the disorienting effect this type of humor has on me.
   


2. I cannot stand it when anyone touches my feet. I don't like it. My grandmother, God rest her soul, who was a womb-regression therapist, said it was because, when I was a baby, my feet turned in and the doctors recommended that my parents periodically twist my feet outward to correct them. She believed it caused me pain and now I no long want anyone to touch my feet. I think it's because I'm very sensitive. Just as I am a supertaster, I am also a super-feeler.
   


3. My grandmother was a therapist who dabbled in womb-regression, primal scream therapy and conducting group therapy sessions on deviant sexual behavior. She had a sound-proofed room full of mattresses in her house. She was also a naturalized Canadian.
   


4. My great, great Aunt Rose on my father's side of the family was a madam and had a brothel near my maternal grandfather's barber shop. They new each other, but just as colleagues.
   


5. I like the idea of camping but I actually don't like camping. I like campfires and wearing flannel. I like the idea of carrying everything I need in a backpack. I like that camp dinner wear that is blue with white speckles. I like looking up a the stars. By all rights, I should like to camp, but I don't. All that nature gets in the way.
   


6. I really like knotty pine.
   


7. Every now and then, but moreso when I was a kid, I was totally pissed off that I wasn't born a boy. I hated that I had to wear a shirt, even though my chest looked nothing different than a boys did (when I was younger, of course), I resented being excluded from playing kickball because I was a girl (I eventually got to play because I lead a protest), I was totally pissed that I had to menstruate. For a long time, I related better to guys and didn't have many female friends. Now, I've grown to accept and actually enjoy being a girl, despite having to read "Growing Up And Liking It."

I tag...

Frank, since he's back and married now

Phil, since it's been months since he's posted

Tanya, since I can't get enough of her love

Evil, Evil Genius, since it will piss him off

Hot Lemon, since it will piss him off if I don't

Tenacious S, since I want to know more...

Beth, since she'll put a great soundtrack to it

GKL, so she doesn't body check me

xoxox

It's Been Ages Since I've Been Tagged

Some Guy did it. With any tag, there are rules; here they are:


If you are one of the carriers of this story virus (i.e. you have been tagged and choose to contribute to it), you will have one responsibility, in addition to contributing your own piece of the story: you will have to tag at least one person that continues your story thread. So, say you tag five people. If four people decide to not participate, it's okay, as long as the fifth one does. And if all five participate, well that's five interesting threads the story spins off into.So, here goes:

I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)

My first idea was to put the applesauce in the microwave. Hey, I was still tired. Could I scoop some out and put whipped cream on it? No, too solid. Why was it so damn cold in here? I walked over to the thermostat and saw that the heat hadn't clicked on all night and the temperature had dropped substantially overnight. Now, tired and hungry, I opened the access panel on the heater. There's the problem: why was someone cooking a duck in here? (SamuraiFrog)

I bent down and scooped up the uncooked duck carcass. There was no way I was going to let it go to waste, especially considering I had applesauce on hand. I placed it in a roasting pot and went back to reset the heater. As I continued to wake up, I realized that my roommate had spent the night at his girlfriend's place and couldn't have put the duck there. "How the hell did it get there?" I wondered. Just then, an already odd situation became even stranger. The lifeless duck animated, flapped its featherless wings, and began to speak. (Some Guy)

"So," he quacked, "What's with the Spiderman p.j.'s? What are you, 12? God, this place is a dump."

The duck looked around, apprising the place like he was being filmed for Flip this House.

"See," he indicated the ceiling with his scorched wing, "There's water spots on the ceiling! You've got a leak...and your vinyl flooring is warped...and your furnace is shot." The duck shook his head and folded his wings in front of his chest. "We've got a lot of work to do in six weeks."

I rubbed my eyes and blinked, "What?"

"Get yourself some coffee, throw that damn applesauce out and grab you're keys...we're going to Lowes." (Flannery Alden)


I tag:
Doc
Evil Genius
Hot Lemon
Kristi
Frank

Top Five Movies

Frank Sirmarco tagged me and said I had to list my top five movies. Being a total movie freak, this could take me a long time to determine. But being whimsical by nature, I'm going to list the top five movies that pop into my head when I think "favorite movies." It's kind of like party shuffle on the iTunes, only we're using my brain as a randomizer. Here we go:

1. Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion

I love this movie. Here are a couple of girls who were misfits in high school but have turned things around for themselves somewhat since. When they learn their high school reunion is imminent, they go on a quest for a life makeover, which ends up causing a rift between them. But, as with most comedies, they turn everything around for the better by the end. This movie has everything my little girl heart wants in a movie: redemption, vindication, and a happy ending. Also, these two lovely girls, while not being super geniuses, have a lot of smarts and use what they have to their advantage. I quote them often, especially when someone compliments me. I usually tilt my head, open my eyes in wonder and respond, "I know!"

2. Casablanca

No one will argue with me that this is a great movie. Some may argue with my rational, however. I believe what makes this movie is not the love story, not the struggle for freedom, not the patriotic themes, but rather Captain Renault. I want to be him. If I can't be him, I want to go shopping with him. This is a diplomatic man who appears to have an interest in no one but himself. Of course, he grudgingly does the right thing when pressed. What I like most about him is his detached wit and lack of shame. If you haven't seen this movie (and shame on you), see it if only to hear some of his quips, such as...

Captain Renault: Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this café, but we know that you've never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open.

Rick: Oh? I thought it was because I let you win at roulette.

Captain Renault: That is another reason.

and...

Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?

Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here! [a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]

Croupier: Your winnings, sir.

Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much. [aloud]

Captain Renault: Everybody out at once!

3. The Philadelphia Story

If you're one for enjoying verbal banter and sparring, then this is your movie. This is a chick flick with balls. This movie is filled with wonderful dialogue and the atmosphere crackles with the sexual tension between the four main characters. Besides, who couldn't love a movie with the likes of Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant, and Jimmy Stewart in it? It's sweet, and smart, and saucy. I highly recommend it.

4. Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban

In this third movie in the Harry Potter series, the producers went with an unlikely and unique director: Alfonso Cuaron. This man brought an edge to the Harry Potter films as the children became adolescents. He made this movie darker and full of black humor and physicality. But while it was creepy, it was also very sympathetic to Harry's character. In this film, we get to witness Harry having a very rare moment of joy as he rides Buckbeak, the hippogriff, over the grounds of Hogwarts, exhilarated. Also, he seems to be getting closer to having a circle of people in his life he can love and trust such as Professor Lupin and Serius Black. Harry seems much less alone in this episode and it feels good to watch him soak it up. Also, there's time travel, which almost always pushes a movie up in my list of favorites.

5. Desparately Seeking Susan

This movie is sort of an Alice falling through the looking glass movie. Only this time it's Roberta and she is falling into the New York City club scene as opposed to Wonderland. Also, Aiden Quinn is in this movie at his hottest, I would say. I love the grittiness of Susan's life and the way Roberta falls into it. It was filmed when Madonna was not only still American, but also still a person, and a charming one at that. The cast is great, the story well done, the soundtrack was wonderful. What's not to love?

I'd love to hear what your top five are and I specifically tag, Pezda, Evil Genius, Big Orange, and Dirty.

I've Been Tagged!

Amy hit me with her best shot...She told me to list seven songs I am into right now...no matter what they are. BUT...... they must be songs I am presently enjoying. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

1. SexyBack, by Justin Timberlake
2. Killing in the Name, by Rage Against the Machine
3. Beast and the Harlot, Avenged Sevenfold
4. Surrender, by Cheap Trick
5. Copa Cabana, by Barry Manilow
6. Oh Very Young, Cat Stevens
7. It's a Dream, Neil Young
   

I tag:

1. Elizabeth
2. Genn6
3. Grant Miller
4. Frank Sirmarco
5. Dale
6. The Boob Lady
7. And the smart and observant PHIL!

For My New Blog Pals

I made up this meme ages ago. I thought some of my new cyber-pals might want to have a go at it.

DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION

1. Batman or Superman?

Batman. A dark side, dimples, rich, confident and a great car. What more could a girl want?

2. Sammy Hagar or David Lee Roth?

Sammy Hagar. David Lee Roth is a farce on two legs.

3. Freud or Jung?

Jung. I'm still not over Freud's accusation that women have penis envy. Indeed. I've seen enough America's Funniest Home Videos to be glad I'm a girl. I like Jungs ideas of a collective unconscious and the power and importance of dreams. Also, Jung? Way cuter.

4. The Stones or The Who?

Hmmm....death is not an option. Sigh. I'd take death on this one. One is as irritating as the other. As much as I hate one, I hate the other. Shit. I guess I'll say The Who, though it kills me.

5. Rita Skeeter or Bridget Jones?

Rita Skeeter: she's much more diabolical. I like diabolical in my fictional journalists.

6. Peanut Butter or Baked Beans?

Peanut butter.

7. Hawkeye or Dr. Cox?

Another difficult choice. Both are passionate, cynical, antiestablishment types. Both are healers. I'd say Hawkeye, but somewhere down deep, my cred meter tells me to go with Dr. Cox. Especially since Hawkeye would be so old now...

8. Rick Blaine or Victor Laszlo?

Captain Renault, of course. This is a trick question.

9. Cats or Dogs?

Cats. I can't abide all the slobber.

10. Bluegrass or Honkey-Tonk?

Bluegrass, the holier side of country.

11. Tatoos or Ties?

Ties. Don't ask.

12. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin?

Buster Keaton. Charlie Chaplin gives me the creeps.

13. Word or Excel?

Excel. Being a writer, I know that sounds like a crazy choice, but Excel can do so many cool tricks; it's like magic!

14. Riker or Kirk?

Riker, most certainly. They are both space whores, but Riker at least has a moral code that doesn't include his own glorification.

15. Janice Dickensen or Paula Abdul?

Tough, tough choice. Paula Abdul.

16. Dianetics or Objectivisim?

Dianetics: I'd like to have access to those kinds of benefits enjoyed by Tom Cruise and John Travolta.

17. Dollywood or Kennywood?

Dollywood.

18. Rivers or Oceans?

Rivers.

19. Toe-tappin' or Knee-slappin'?

Knee-slappin'

20. Wallpaper or paint?

Wallpaper. It's old-fashioned and pretty. Besides, I'd rather hang wallpaper than paint. Less mess.

As Death tags us all some day, I tag all of you!

My Mind Is Blank...Thank God I Was Tagged!

My dear Elizabeth tagged me. She wants me to tell you all six things about me that are weird. I will oblige, but I'm not sure if they are weird or just quirky. My dictionary says weird means:

1. uncanny; supernatural


2. strange; incomprehnsible


3. connected with fate, archaicly speaking

So, here goes...

1. While I have faked psychic abilities in my past, I sometimes do have flashes of insight into the future. For instance, recently a friend of mine was going to pick up her boss to go to a meeting. At the last minute her boss called to say that he would pick her up instead. I had quipped, though not to her, that his sudden change of heart about driving was caused by his desire to throw her out into traffic; they have a strained relationship. Later I found out that her boss missed the turn to drop her off and ended up stopping in the middle of a busy street (not at an intersection) and made her get out in the middle of traffic.

2. I can do a split, in fact, am compelled to do one and other acrobatic feats after 1.5 beers.

3. If I ever get lost, I can usually navigate myself to where I need to be by instinct.

4. I can narrate the thoughts of Elizabeth's cat: Fezzywig. Of course, they are the thoughts I presume he has. I can't read cat's thoughts, other than "feed me" and "pet me" and "leave me the fuck alone."

5. I can speak to large groups of people with confidence and authority on most topics, even those I know nothing about.

Edited to Add: Number 6: I can't count.

So, now I tag other weirdos: Big Orange and Echo.

Guten Tag!

I've got two tags today. Firstly, I tagged myself with Some Guy's idea...

Reasons I'm An Ass...

First, I shall list those that I have in common with my pal Chris:

• I watch horrible TV shows when I could be doing something constructive.


• I don't always speak up when I should.


• I pay bills late and get charged a fee, even when I have the money and no good reason why I can't pay them on time.


• I let myself get worked up about things of no consequence.

Here is evidence of assiness that is entirely my own:

• I wait until the last moment to get things done.


• I let certain minute personality quirks and bad fashion drive me to hatred.


• I never return my library books in on time.


• I've always got a zinger loaded and sometimes I pull the trigger before I think about the consequences


• I screen my calls.


• In order to alleviate my road rage, I've convinced myself that no one on the road is capable of courtesy and most don't know the rules. So, when they cut me off, I think things like, "Father, forgive them; they know not what they are doing." (By the way: this is a very effective tactic)

Others? Please add them to the comments...

*****

And now, my girl, Dirty Tagged me with some Alphabet Soup:

A-Available or single? Neither

B-Best Friend? I have more than one! Don't make me choose!

C-Cake or pie? Cake

D-Drink of choice? Diet Coke or Riesling

E-Essential item I use every day...Computer

F-Favorite color? Blue

G-Gummy Bears or Gummy worms? Gummy Bears

H-Hometown? Canton, Ohio.

I-Indulgence...Golden Crisp Potato Chips.

J-January or February? January

K-Kids and names: Riley & Lucy

L-Life is incomplete without? I don't know...this question makes no sense. I suppose it's incomplete if you die before you do everything you want to. One thing I want to do before I die? See a live drag show.

M-Marriage date...October 25, 1997

N-Number of siblings...NONE!

O-Oranges or apples? Apples

P-Phobias or fears? Heights

Q-Favorite quote? "Be advised, I'm mean nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I could put a round through a flea's ass at 300 meters. So why don't you hump somebody else's leg, mutt-face, before I push yours in." Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak Ridge, a highly underrated film.

R-Reasons to smile...1. to offer a friendly visage to a stranger, 2. your kid says something sweet/cute/wonderful, 3. someone's taking a picture, 4. you just won the lottery, 5. to cover up for something

S-Season? Autumn.

T-Tag 3 or 4 people...Elizabeth, Genn6, Echo

U-Unknown fact about me...I love the movie Bring It On.

V-Vegetable you don't like...Green Beans.

W-Worst habit...procrastination.

Y-Your favorite food? Chiptole Tacos.

Z-Zodiac? Gemini

25 Questions

My pal Genn6 tagged me with this one...

1. I've come to realize that my family...

Are fabulous!

2. I am listening to...

Cars driving by, a plane flying over.

3. I talk...

With my hands and with vigor.

4. I love...

Reality TV, Christmas and Onion Strings

5. My best friend...

label can be applied to several candidates.

6. My first kiss was...

unspeakable.

7. I lost my virginity...

somewhere around here...now where did I put it?

8. I hate it when people...

tuck their sweaters in.

9. Love is...

natural and real (tm Morissey)

10. Marriage is...

a team sport

11. Somewhere, someone is thinking...

Where are my keys?

12. I'll always...

write.

13. I have a secret crush on...

Lindsay Lohan (is that a secret?)

14. The last time I cried was because...

I couldn't get enough sleep.

15. My cell phone...

doubles as a watch

16. When I wake up in the morning...

I hit the snooze

17. Before I go to sleep at night...

I hold hands with Doc

18. Right now I am thinking about...

Getting stuff ready for tomorrow.

19. Babies are...

so sweet.

20. I get on myspace....

hardly ever.

21. Today I...

Ready to go!

22. Tonight I will...Tiki!

23. Tomorrow I will...help Elizabeth find a car.

24. I really want...an advance on my book.

25. The person who most likely to repost this is...the person whom I tag, which is Mombi!

Do You Like Me? (Circle Yes or No)

Megan tagged me; she wants to know about crushes I have had. It's always fun to mine this vein; it's rife with dashed hopes and lonlieness and plenty of opportunities for character building.

*****

She didn't tell me how many I should talk about, so I'll go with a few from the middle school era. You know about one already. I think I can come up with three more.

*****

Greg Burlingame. He was the strong, silent type. In the fifth grade, we played a lot of quiet games of tether ball. He was really good at tether ball. I don't think we ever talked, but we lived the metaphor of wrapping a ball attached to a rope around a pole, only to undo it and repeat for the duration of each recess. It was very zen. We went to separate middle schools and I didn't see him for three years. When we rejoined in high school, I rarely ever saw him. I think he joined the vocational school taking up horticulture or auto mechanics. But occaisionally, we'd pass in the hall and I'd wonder if he remembered our tether ball days.

*****

Tom Kelly. Tom was a cute little blonde who rode my bus. I was in lurve with him throughout the entirity of my middle school years. He reminded me of a young Johnny Carson (so hott!). However, he was not the least bit interested in me. At one time, I sent him a note, telling him I liked him. But Tom, ever the staunch diplomat, never responded one way or the other. So, I was left to dangle, wondering. I think, in retrospect, he must have been gay.

*****

Terry Cross. Terry was my best friend's dad. He looked a bit like Harvey Corman. He used to restore classic cars and golf. He had a dark tan and dimples. I believe he was the first dimpled man to move my heart. He smoked merit cigarettes and loved Jackie Gleason. He also thought I was funny. Of course, nothing ever came of this. He was at least 30 years older than me.

*****

So there you have my crushes: Greg Burlingame, the man who taught me that silence was golden; Tom Kelly, a man who taught me that I could do better; and Terry Cross, who gave me my Achilles' heel and made dimples my kryptonite.

*****

I tag Doc, a major hotty with dimples, curly blonde hair, blue eyes and the best ass I've ever seen. He also thinks I'm funny, which is more important to me in a partner than I'd like to admit.

Eins, Zwei, Drie, Vier...

My pal, Chris tagged me. I'm about to tell you five things about me that no one knows. I've been writing here for two years and some change, so I'm not sure there's much about me to tell that isn't a little odd. With that warning, here we go...

1. I can vividly remember being potty trained. I was probably one and a half to two years old. I remember my Mom sitting me on the toilet and singing: "Tinkle, tinkle little star..." I remember the feeling that I knew she wanted me to do something, but I had no idea what it was. I always enjoyed her singing.
   
2. I used to make my right hand and my left fight for the right to color. I was probably about two or three. I believe I did this because I have crossed dominance, that is, I write with my right hand, I kick with my left foot, I aim with my left eye, yet I shoot right-handed (I've had to learn how to aim right-eyed). At any rate, I would have to referee fights between my left and right hands, before I could even begin to color.
   
3. I've never cut school, except for one time. I left my band uniform at home and we had to perform for a school assembly in the afternoon. So, after band, I jumped into my 1979 Firebird and sped the 2 miles home to get it.
   
4. When I was 10, I went to the Y's horse camp for three days. I was very excited to hop on a horse and ride with the wind. When it comes to speed, I am fearless: downhill skiing, driving, etc. Usually, I jump at the chance to go very fast, which I certainly had the opportunity to do at horse camp. However, I got stuck with an appaloosa mare named Babycakes, of all things. She was huge and grumpy and I was truly intimidated by Babycakes. Especially after she stepped on my foot and stood on it for about a minute and a half, while I beat on her hind quarters with my little fists. I spent the duration of camp volunteering for stable duty instead of riding.
   
   A side note, I have a boney bump on the outside edge of each foot and at the end of my row of toes. This makes it look like I'm missing a toe on each foot, because it looks like there's room for one more. The camp counselor who examined my foot thought it was broken, but that's just the way my foot was shaped. It didn't really hurt that bad; I was wearing sturdy cowboy boots after all. But I didn't want to ride that bitch, so I faked that my injury was worse than it was and they let me hang out in the stables by myself most of the time.
   
5. Elizabeth knows this, but maybe you all don't. About 12 years ago, I faked it at a seance once. I based all my communications from beyond on tiny details I knew about everyone in the room that they probably forgot they even told me. I really freaked everyone out and I didn't come clean about it til this past year.

Sheesh. I'm a huge faker.

I tag Elizabeth. I owe her one for being such a good sport and not kickin my ass over the seance thing.

Movie Tag

Thanks to Frank; I'm it!

Popcorn or Candy? Popcorn, of course.

Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever. Maltese Falcon

Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. The dress Bette Davis is wearing in this picture from All About Eve:

Your favorite film franchise is: Harry Potter

Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?

• John Irving: best writer ever (he won an oscar for screenwriting Cider House Rules)
• Owen Wilson: I think he's smart, hot, and funny.
• Lindsay Lohan: I've been a fan for years.
• Liza Minelli: Oh, the stories she'd tell!
• Denzel Washington: I just want to look into his eyes when he talks.

It will be a summer evening and we will have Asian Barbeque Chicken, Caesar Salad, and blackberry sherbet for desert. And booze, lots and lots of booze (except for Lindsay, she's trying to dry out).

What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?

Choose a female bodyguard: Angelina Jolie

What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie? The scene at the end of Silence of the Lambs when Jodie Foster is walking around the killer's house in the dark. Freaked my shit out.

Your favorite genre (excluding "comedy" and "drama"): Drag Queen movies.

You are given the power to green-light movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power? No focus group screenings. I think the results would be fascinating.
Bonnie or Clyde? Neither, thank you.

This quiz was made for you, Doc; you're it!