Riley Blogs: The Golden Star
As I gazed out the window, there was lots of snow. i couldn't go out because I was really sick. So out I went and when i got out the door, there was a strange thing outside. And I said, "What is that?"
So, I looked closer and then I knew what it was. It was a golden star! And then I touched it. So, I found it and I brought it inside and I put it in my room. I turned on the light and the then the star went on it was so bright, I fell onto my bed!
And then, I couldn't breath since it was so shiny and big. I had to run out with the star and I had to build a rocket ship to zoop it up to space. But when I got there and I put the star in space, it fell out of outer space!
I had to get back to earth and put it back where I found it. It just followed my like Mary Had a Little Lamb. So I went outside, and then I couldn't see the star anymore. I turned around and the star was following me! I just hopped of that cozy place, out of my home to look all around to see what it was. It was a very cozy house. And then I saw another cozy house when i reached a very nice place. I ran to the nice place and when right in it.
I hopped in it and I was so warm, I wanted to go fishing, but the lake was frozen. So I hopped out the door and I just squeezed.
I made my own house out of snow and by summer the house melted because it was made out of snow. So I went home through Caterpillar Lane and to my own home.
The End.
8 Comments:
Get her published!
Sunday, December 16, 2007 2:20:00 PM
That's pretty awesome!
Sunday, December 16, 2007 2:48:00 PM
I think she deserves a big gold star for that story. Great stuff!
Sunday, December 16, 2007 6:02:00 PM
Hmmm... You know, you'd better get her to work on her restating the prompt and staying on topic, and she REALLY needs to work on her expository responses if she has ANY hope of passing the 4th grade Writing FCAT. I think she'll need a 504 plan and extra tutoring. I mean, this narrative response is all well n' good, but we can't possibly have ANY child left behind, you know, and it's never too early to start crushing their minds and wills so we can crank out another lil' automaton for the State.
Having said that, not a bad start.
(hey, just trying to gear up for my ol' career again).
Sunday, December 16, 2007 8:57:00 PM
(gee, I hope the language and length wasn't too bad-- I'd hate to be blocked from making comments here... >:-P !!)
Sunday, December 16, 2007 8:58:00 PM
I wish I could still "zoop", but I am getting too old... sigh...
Monday, December 17, 2007 1:07:00 PM
Now that I think of it, I think you should have her include some words from the UrbanDictionary on your sidebar.
Monday, December 17, 2007 4:04:00 PM
Gold star, refrigerator material!
Monday, December 17, 2007 9:05:00 PM
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