The Devil's Own Cough

I have been suffering for a week now with the worst cough ever. It is like an involuntary spasm of coughing. There is a warning system which feels like a spider tickling the back of my throat and then I'm coughing uncontrollably. The cutest part of this whole deal is that it's worse at night so I can't really get a good night's sleep. I've been downing cough drops, cough suppressants and using an inhaler. But nothing seems to work. It's like either satan is fucking with me or God is punishing me. I can't figure out which. Oh, yeah...and sometimes I cough so hard, I pee a little bit, which is a real treat, let me tell you what.

I guess it's time to go to the doctor...