Let's Separate the Message Rockers from the Real Rockers

Are you ready to rumble? I heard the song "Sober" by Pink this morning on the radio and I found myself getting pissed off. Don't get me wrong; I don't have anything against her, like some other musicians I could name coughJohnMayercough. I appreciate her swagger and her semi-aggressive stance. I like her anti-airhead campaign; it sends a good message to young women and girls that may not have heard that it's a bad idea to be an alcoholic or a slut, but it's ok to have a good time.

And that's also a problem.

Message Rock rubs me the wrong way. I really don't want to take my cues from message rockers. Even if their message is a good idea. This is probably why I can't even open the door to the room full of Christian Rock. Rock and Roll is not the place for self help or spiritual development. It's supposed to be primal and emotional. Or devil-may-care rebelliousness. If there is a message, it should be buried or backmasked. Am I alone in all of this? Let's look at some samples. Please let me know what you think.

Message Rocker v. Real Rocker	Lyric Smackdown	Analysis
Pink’s Sober Versus Amy Winehouse’s Rehab	No pain inside, you’re like perfection…But how do I feel this good sober? I don’t ever wanna drink again I just, ooh, I just need a friend I’m not gonna spend ten weeksHave everyone think I’m on the mend	The question is, do addicts really want to know how to feel this good sober? No. I don’t think so, though I’m open to information to the contrary. In my personal experience, I’ve actually heard alcoholics say: “I don’t want to drink.” It’s not about feeling good; it’s about not wanting to fuck things up further and believing that not being drunk is the first step. Judgment: Sober is bullshit and throws in the towel at the mere sight of Rehab.
Green Day’s American Idiot Versus CCR’s Fortunate Son	Well maybe I'm the faggot America.I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.Now everybody do the propaganda.And sing along to the age of paranoia Some folks are born made to wave the flag,Ooh, they’re red, white and blue.And when the band plays hail to the chief,Ooh, they point the cannon at you, lord,	I think these two are saying the same thing; however, I appreciate the directness of CCR. I think that Green Day is being too abstract here. It’s not personal enough, damn it. Stop tossing off half-baked imagery. Judgement: CCR by a nose.
Lee Greenwood’s Proud to be an American Versus Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA	And I gladly stand up,next to you and defend her [America] still today.‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,God bless the USA. Come back home [from Viet Nam] to the refineryHiring man says "Son if it was up to me"I go down to see the V.A. manHe said "Son don't you understand"	I don’t have to tell you that Greenwood’s song is a pile of sugar-coated pablum pops for the masses. I’ve probably told you this before. For instance, one can’t gladly stand up and literally defend her and still be honest. I mean, Are we talking about defending her at the water cooler or in Afghanistan? Because I’d gladly defend her at the water cooler but I’d have to say I wouldn’t be so happy about the prospect of tromping through the Hindu Kush mountains to defend her. In my opinion, People probably have similar reactions to her as Bruce Springsteen’s protagonists do to a country that keeps closing doors on them until they have no choices or opportunities anymore. Judgement: Shut it, Lee Greenberg; life is not a parade down Main Street. Bruce Springsteen wins by a mile.
Nickelback’s Rock Star Verses Dr. Hook’s Cover of the Rolling Stone	‘cause we all just want to be big rock stars And live in hilltop houses driving 15 cars The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap We’ll all stay skinny ‘cause we just won’t eat We got a lot of little teenage blue eyed groupies Who do anything we sayWe got a genuine Indian Guru Who's teaching us a better way We got all the friends that money can buy So we never have to be alone And we keep getting richer but we can't get our picture On the cover of the rollin stone	Nickelback are basically lying here. They are claiming that WE all want to be rock stars. Well, maybe we don’t, Nickelback; but sadly, you already are. So why are you patronizing us pretending to want what you already have? Is this supposed to build kinship for with your fan base? Or is this supposed to be ironic? If so, nice work, Alanis. Now Dr. Hook’s take on the celebrity experience is funny. And true. It’s honest and it doesn’t try to pander to the fans. It’s art not propaganda. Judgement: Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show by a TKO.