Friday, June 08, 2007

Leadership Lessons From Amanda: How To Get To The Top

In order to crush a female colleague's career and take her job, you need motivation. If you don't have motivation, other than a lust for power, why not generate it by dangling your hunky soccer-playing boyfriend in front of her until she succumbs to his boyish charms and his empty eyes. Then set her up for the fall. Let's watch the master in action...

Here are some tips to walk away with:

  • Always take responsibility for failure and success
  • Never air your personal business in front of clients
  • Always be prepared to go in for the kill
  • Err on the side of professionalism
  • Always wear a power color, like, say red
  • In order to instill confidence in clients and board members, speak in a clipped and concise manner
  • Figure out how best to look like the injured party in order to garner sympathy

17 comments:

  1. Oh, and you forgot the part about "appear to be militantly on the side of the shareholders" and "threaten either promotion or the withdrawl of key clients if you don't get your way."

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  2. I worked a for company in Burbank that transfered old tv shows scripts to computer. I had to watch roughly half of the total episodes of Melrose Place, while checking the dialogue against the comptuer moniter which displayed the scanned script, correcting as I went. Pausing and rewinding to catch exactly what Amanda, or Jake, said. I'd watch each episode three times for optimum accuracy.

    Yeah, it sucked as bad as you think.

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  3. You're a stronger man than I am, Phil.

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  4. Phil-- there's no doubt a REASON why you said "worked", as in past tense.

    Flann-- have you noticed that at times we're just two ships passing in the night??

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  5. We are not so different. What if the show was porn?

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  6. I'm so vey sorry for you Phil. I'm sure Dante would have included this in his many layers of hell had he known.

    Doc

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  7. My health is excellent, just check out my "assets"

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  8. SKY DAD: post 'em!! I'll look!!

    FLAN: well, if it was porn, the script wouldn't matter much, would it??

    DOC: I think this is an open invitation to rewrite The Inferno, yes??

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  9. Andrew Shue was cute. Whatever happened to him?

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  10. That was a very cryptic comment I left, I meant to refer to what she said about herself in the video, but I blew it!

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  11. Other things that Amanda has taught us...

    Can a skirt be too short? Hells no.

    Move to a bigger building, as the "hunting grounds" will be all used up by Season Three.

    No bomb can kill you if your skirt is short enough.

    Nothing is more effective in getting the upper hand, than throwing water or drinks at your rivals or "friends."

    "Friends" are not friends at all, but merely people that are to be stepped on, every other episode.

    When someone wants you to save their show (ala the late Aaron Spelling), don't just demand a boatload of money, but demand that you be billed as a "Special Guest Star." Even if you've stopped being a guest, over two seasons ago.

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  12. Phil,

    As I didn't make it that far into the show's run, you are a better man than me. Oh...and not for all the money in the world.

    Elizabeth,

    Elizabeth and Andrew were just in San Francisco, promoting a movie called Gracie. It was loosely based on the passing of their brother and how she dealt with it.

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  13. Writeprocrastinator,

    Thanks! I watched the trailor and it looks good.

    Andrew Shue is still cute!

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  14. Did you know that Andrew Shue played soccer for the L.A. Galaxy back in the day?

    It's true.

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  15. Deadspot,

    Yes, I did know and he was cute back then, too.

    I promise this is the last time I will talk about how cute Andrew Shue is. At least for today.

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