Thursday, June 14, 2007

Writing Project

Brittney Spears has been the butt of many jokes recently, as you all know. And now, attention from the media has essentially dried up for her. So, the big brains at BS Marketing Division have come up with another desparate stunt to keep her relevant:

I'm thinking that if we put our heads together, we could come up with an album title for her that could steer her career in the right direction. Afterall, I have no real reason to delight in her downfall, unlike other celebrities. Why not try to come up with something that would give her a credibilty boost and allow her to really become the new Madonna. I believe a good album title will guide its content someplace great. It will give Britney a direction. Let's inspire her, because, if she is making an album, which she is, we are going to have to hear it one way or another. Why not make it something meaningful instead of a shameful pile of embarassing crap.
But in order to suggest what I'm sure will be the best album title ever, we have to pony up 25 bucks to become a member of the official fan club. I'm so excited about this venture and so convinced that our combined talents could change the fate of one fallen star, that I would be willing to post the fee if we come up with something great. And, my friends, let's try to think about what title would be best for Britney. She is a single mom with two little kids, after all. She has no one with any brains or wisdom looking out for her. She needs our help.
Here are some to get started with:
  • Shake Loose The Redneck
  • Supernova Black Hole
  • Hoisted On My Own Spears
  • Let It Be
  • Irrelevant
  • Let's Talk About Darfur Instead
  • I Meant To Do That
  • Return To The Zone

What do you think?


  1. I like I meant to do that.

    I also think she should capitalize on her former self. She was once the naughty, school girl. Perhaps she could be the naughty teacher now. She should do a cover of Hot For Teacher.

  2. Good titles.

    I have a couple that aren't too bad. I think she would actually show a good sense of humor about herself if she chose the first one.

    "If I Dood It, I Get A Whippin'"
    "Paying For My Very Expensive Lifestyle"
    "Fumbling Towards Obscurity"

  3. I Meant to Do That is my favorite as well.

    Can she use "Firecrotch," or does that technically belong to Lindsay Lohan?

    Maybe she can use her recent letter to fans as inspiration and call it, "Life is Hard, Y'all."

    Unfortunately, "Even Worse," "Nevermind" and "In Utero" have both been used by Weird Al, Nirvana and... Nirvana, respectively.

  4. Not "both." All. All three have been used. I can count, really.

  5. What about "In through the Out Door", or "Highway to Hell", or even "I've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'". Oops, all taken.

    How about:

    All is Lost

    Forget About Me

    I'm Going Through Changes

    Slutty Has-Been Got a New Groove For Ya!

    I don't know. I'm not very good at this sort of thing.


  6. I'm STILL chuckling over how the Church of England used her as a poster child for not having sex before marriage. Am I the only person who remembers that??

  7. How about "Could you point out which are my kids again?"

  8. Um...

    The Carpet Don't Match the Drapes
    I'm Not In Disney Anymore

  9. How about 'Hit Me Baby And Keep Hitting Me Until I Stop Showing Up'?

  10. How about Toxic, oh wait...

    The Rehab Cronicles

    Lifestyles of the Rich and Stoopid

    Lost In The Mother Hood

    Please, Please, Please Don't Forget About Me (Please)

    Chastity Belt (I Shoulda Worn A)

  11. I'm not paying 25 bucks for these kinds of smart-ass answers! Come on, now, people!

    Though I think Doc is on to something; Brit should cover "I'm Going Through Changes," by Ozzy.

  12. -Oops, I Forgot My Panties Again
    -Close Shave
    -20 Extra Pounds: Britney's Greatest Hips
    -C Section
    -Pennies From Kevin

    I'm spent...

  13. "Has Anyone Seen My Other Sleeve?"

  14. "Still a Skank"
    "Take a Number"
    "Which is Bigger-- My IQ or My Shoe Size"
    "White Trash on Fire"

  15. OK, you guys. It's obvious none of you want to save Brittney's career. Sigh.

    I suppose I should find a new project...

  16. Pennies from Kevin? That's gold right thar Frank Simarco.