Sunday, February 03, 2008

Listen! Do You Smell Something?

It's quiet here for the first time in 36 hours or so. My beautiful girls are zonked out, Doc is at the neighbor's house watching the game. I've got the Mythbusters marathon on and I'm listening to my stomach roll over onto itself.

About 2:00 p.m. the Groundhog's Day festivities began. We had a houseful: six under 15 years old and nine over 15 years old. We had food and drink and drink. I started out with Orange Crush and Vodka. I think I had three. I tried a quarter cup of Cherry Ale, which numbed my tongue on impact. I had a glass of wine and a Budweiser. That's a lot of booze for someone who doesn't usually drink. I'm hoping I didn't make a complete ass of myself. But everyone had silly hats on, so I'm thinking that I might have blended in to the crowd. Then again...

Here is a list of things I did:

  • Drank
  • Ate veggies
  • Invitied my new neighbor over while wearing a black hat with a large red feather in it and a serape
  • Got into a hot tub that was 112 degrees...requested passerbys drop ice chunks into it
  • Tried to figure out the Spaudio system but was frustrated, causing much supressed mirth in my cohorts
  • Called a co-worker and left a voice mail demanding he join us
  • Got into the hot tub again, got too warm
  • Exited the hot tub with my lovely sister-in-law to hike 25 yards through frozen grass, clamber onto the trampoline and jump
  • Laid on the trampoline with my lovely sister-in-law and stared at the stars for a good 20 wet bathing suits
  • Returned to the hot tub
  • Called it a night
  • Woke up at least 4 times to chug 3 glasses of water each time, finally and biolgically understanding the meaning behind the song "How dry I am"
  • Finally gave up trying to sleep at 5 a.m. and watched Columbo and Murder She Wrote
  • Hung out with my neice when she woke up at 7 a.m. and proclaimed everyone should be up by now
  • Felt pretty good as I helped my lovely sister-in-law toast the homemade waffles and English muffins she brought
  • Played Pirate Dice
  • Got suddenly and violently sick to my stomach
  • Dozed off for an hour
  • Woke up to the smell of tuna fish salad (does Doc hate me?)
  • And ran to the back of the house and hid my head under the blankets until the nausea subsided
  • Coaxed the girls in to snuggle with me
  • Sent Doc on his way to the party
  • Ate four potato chips and had a few sips of Diet Coke (sans Mentos...though, as I learned today: Mentos and Diet Coke will not make your stomach rupture, but I'm not taking any chances)
  • Took Depeche Mode's advice and enjoyed the silence.

So, perhaps I didn't blend it; it is not my lot. But I had a blast and I don't think I was a huge jerk. I still have to confirm this completly with Doc, but hopefully, I have enough goodwill in the bank that folks will give me a pass. At any rate, I've been punished. My feet have been shredded by the ice. My knees are abraded from climbing on to an ice-encrusted trampoline. My hands are cut up as well. I've bruised my hips and my hair has taken on a life of its own. Don't worry, though; it promised to write often. One thing I didn't do, though, was watch the movie Groundhog's Day.

I think you all need to join us next year. Clear your calendar and figure out how to get yourselves here for the best party you'll never fully remember.


  1. I don't think I've ever ever heard anyone par-taying it THAT much on groundhog day. Hell, I don't think Phil's Inner Circle have had that much fun. Maybe U could teach 'em a thing or two.

    112 degrees? Maaaan, that's hot even for MEE, and I can takea' da heeet. Amazin-raisin y'all didn't pull a tongue-on-the-pump-handle and freeze to it, requiring either someone to pour bucketloads of hot water on you or the removal of said frozen-to-trampoline suits... Which I'm recommending for next year, BTW.

    So, when I call Delta for next year, should I book tix in Dec or in Feb??

  2. I also had never considered that Groundhog Day was meant for such partying, but it does sound fun.

    While that is a fair amount of booze for a nondrinker, your real problem was the mixing. If I had personally witnessed you switching from vodka to cherry ale to wine to beer I would have asked if you were trying to make yourself sick. Next time you're out to get toasted stick with one. Oh, and don't forget my invitation.

  3. Mythbusters marathon, Columbo and Murder She Wrote...

    I love you more now than I ever have!

  4. Man, I want to party with you chica. Good move to save the Budweiser for last. Chances are, you couldn't taste anything by then.

  5. I want to come too! Sounds like fun. Whenever I feel sick, I like to have kids close by to puke on as well! See? We're the same person.

  6. Well...we didn't see any news of trampolines being used this least on TV. How can you prove these so called "incidents" anyway?

  7. Ah! total insanity! I love it. Your new neighbours might be a little edgy for just a moment but they'll warm up to it. ;)

  8. If you invite me next year, I promise to kidnap Punxy Phil and bring him along. I won't let him drive angry, don't worry. If I'm still in New York (and hopefully I won't be), I guess I'll have to settle for Staten Island Chuck. Lame.