A Call To Arms

This is a post from my Dark Side. I think it's important enough for general consumption so I've moved it here. Apologies to those who've read and commented on it already.

Alice, it is time we made a request of our fellows for the betterment of civilization. I realize we may be labeled a prude for our efforts, but better to be painted broadly by that brush than to continue suffering in silence and hoping a fashion of the vernacular will exit of its own accord.

Like an insensitive houseguest, this little four letter word refuses to note it's time has come and gone. This word has lingered around since at least the early 1990's and shows no signs of going for its keys. Are you ready, Alice? OK; here we go.

I kindly request the the word "anal" be banished from the lexicon, excepting its use when describing medical conditions between doctors and patients, and I further request it be replaced by the equally descriptive yet less offensive "fussy."

For years I have been waiting patiently for the word "anal" to go the way of the dodo, remembering that the English language is constantly in flux and hoping that this word shall soon become passe. Nearly twenty years later, I'm still being surprised by its use in polite society, in particular, business meetings.

"I'm so anal about data," someone will proclaim.

Shocked by the casual remark referencing the nasty nether-regions of my colleague, I can think of nothing else for a few short seconds but their ass, imagining them reaching for the Preparation H whenever someone brings them a report. I don't want to go there, Alice, to coin another dead turn of phrase.

So join with me, won't you? Start today. When you are in conversation with anyone but your physician (or cellmate), make a point to describe someone's nitpicky behavior as "fussy." Try it as a game. See if you can change the tide of vulgarity and gently guide the lexicon away from this ambush of yukiness awaiting you at your next team meeting.

I have shared very much with you here and have asked very little in return. Kindly consider joining me in my quest to forever rid us of the anal invasion that crosses our tongues, assaults us in the workplace, and makes itself insidious in our minds.

Join the fussy rebellion. Afterall, fussy is only one letter longer, the same amount of syllables and equally descriptive without being offensive to anyone, unless you are more fussy than I am about language.