People I'd Love to Shop With

Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation

I would love to have him accompany me on a shopping trip because he is catty, smart, and pulls no punches with the truth. People watching would be thrilling.

We could sit on a bench and nibble on a hot pretzel (from Auntie Anne's, of course) and share wildly entertaining commentary about the ghastly and the great parading in front of us. When we had had our fill of hot pretzels and Diet Cokes, we could wander over to our favorite clothing boutiques and try stuff on. I know I could rely on his candor to tell me when my tits looked great in a top or if my butt looked too big in a pair of pants. I would be willing to offer my discerning eye towards his wardrobe experiements as well.

*****

We would chat with the clerks, make fun of people in Hot Topic, and get our exercise. If we got bored, he could do some Q tricks to entertain me. And when we were ready to leave, I would hand over my packages to him and he would snap his fingers and send the items I purchased directly to an appropriate place in my home. We'd kiss each other on the cheek and plan to meet next week.