Killing Two Birds With One Stone

My buddy and fellow rock star deadspot wanted to know what the dumbest question anyone ever asked me was and Dirty wanted to know how to answer the dumbest question anyone could ever ask me. So, in a blogging double-play, I'll try to satisfy both of them with one post.

The dumbest question anyone ever asked me is "What are your weaknesses," because, obviously, I don't have any. However, I do have what I like to call "performance quirks," which could be seen as weaknesses by some. So, in a job interview situation, if asked the dumbest question anyone ever asked me, I tell them the truth. I don't try to trump myself up with things like, "I work to hard," or "I tend to take on too much responsibility." Instead, I say any or all of the following:

• Sometimes, time management is a problem for me. I have a difficult time estimating how long it will take me to complete a task, due to unforseen problems that may arise. This is a good answer because it's true, I often come in under the wire on projects or they are just plain late. Sometimes the unforseen circumstances are from other people, but often it's my fault. But the way I pose the weakness puts responsibility in the hands of fate and chaos, two very handy scapegoats. I also think that this raises a point for the interviewers, who, I'm sure, have had outside forces mess with them on occaision.
• I have difficulty saying "no" to projects, because I like to be helpful. But, in the past, this has caused me to overbook myself. This alerts the interviewers to the fact that I'm enthusiastic and that they will have to help me monitor my workload, so that I won't bite off more than I can chew.
• Bureaucracy frustrates me and I often become impatient and frustrated when bogged down with red tape. I don't like it when the system gets in the way of serving the customer. This irritation and impatience sometimes surfaces in my communications with others in the organization. This statement lets them know that the customer comes first with me and I'm willing to knock some heads together for their sake.
• Sometimes I overthink situations and get bogged down before implementing solutions. This lets the interviewers know that I have a brain and I'm not afraid to use it.

I hope these are helpful, Dirty. And deadspot, I hope this satisfies your request too. Though, I did toy with this question as the dumbest question anyone ever asked me:

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"

It's a dumb question to ask me because it takes all the patience of Job for me to restrain myself from punching the question-poser in the throat. First of all, it's none of their business. Secondly, I know it's a come-on from those born again who are trying to add notches their halos by saving another poor soul, and therefore, completely self-interested. Do you know, one asshole actually asked me this at my Granpda's funeral? He's lucky he's not breathing through a tube.