Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Saving The Planet One Sock At A Time

There is a basket in my closet. It's full of socks, single socks, divorced from their mates, soiled, tattered and woebegone. And it has begun seriously to lurk. Doc keeps begging me to reunite the lonesome and forlorn dress socks with dress socks, athletic socks with athletic socks, Dora socks with Dora socks. I keep promising him I'll do it. But there that basket sits, a wasteland of single socks, too depressing to contemplate. Months have gone by and we are still locked in a silent showdown of inaction, a cold feet war.

Last night, however, we reached a detente. We decided that we would gather up those lonely soles and give them a new purpose, one which does not necessarily require their reunion with their twins. The basket will be swooped up and carried to each and every sock drawer in the house. We will gather up the rest of the socks in the house, paired or not, and put them the basket. Then we will pour them all in a nice laundry bag and label it with a Sharpie: Sock Puppets To Be. After we have found a place to store the bag, we will skip off to Target, barefooted in our sandals, and buy two dozen new pairs of socks for each of us.

Doc wants two dozen identical pairs of socks so that he won't have to ever worry about mating them again. I'm not sure that will work for me. I dream of new trouser socks in a variety of colors that maybe have some embossed patterns on them, and, of course, argyle socks. For the girls we will procure bobby socks and maybe some argyles for them too.

While I'm at Target, I will also get some googly eyes, pom poms and other doo-dads, along with glue and fabric markers to complete our sock puppet kit. Now, whenever the kids are bored, we can sit down, think of a story, create some characters and have a puppet show. I'll be able to entertain the neighborhood kids and maybe they will take some sock puppets home with them and get years of joy. Or not. But at least I will feel better knowing we put them to some use, rather than pitching them outright, which was my first impulse.

This solution is so sweet for me; I am a huge fan of puppets. I'm also seriously unmotivated to mate socks. Thank God I got my raise and backpay! Now we can afford to retire a bunch of socks, that have served us well but are no longer fit for duty, and replace them with new foot soldiers, while reducing just that much more of the stress in my life and the trash in this world. Darn, it feels good.

14 comments:

  1. Flannery,

    I find this post truly inspirational! Sock matching is one of my least favorite tasks. I have long ago adopted Doc's strategy. My dress socks are all black of the same brand, my gym socks are all white of the same brand.

    But as you know my penchant for argyle dictates that there are exceptions to this rule. So my sock drawer contains piles of black, white, and other.

    But the Sifl & ollie treatment for the retirees is a brilliant direction. That is how you live life!

    -EG

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  2. Way to make lemonade, Flann!

    Can you film some of these future puppet shows and broadcast them on YouTube?

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  3. Have you ever read the kids story "If you give a moose a muffin"?

    Your sock puppets remind me of that story!

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  4. You better believe there will be footage (hee) of our sock puppet shows! I just discovered how to use my video editing software on my new laptop and I can't be stopped!

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  5. Don't forget to make the sock monkeys! I have one attached to my hockey bag (we're the Ice Monkeys) for luck.

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  6. Funny you should mention socks...I am forming an idea for an on going blog entry call sock chronicals. I'm still working on it in my mind...but watch for it soon.
    As for the puppets, that's so cool! We have a basket as well. I like to save that basket though for times when I know I should be doing something around the house, but just feel like sitting and watching a movie. The sock basket is a perfect excuse then. Plus no one bothers me because they don't want to get sucked into helping.

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  7. If you're looking for donations, let me know. I've got the same issues as everyone else. And the sock ones too.

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  8. I love making sock puppets! Save a few for me.

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  9. Don't forget to make a Kefla puppet...it'll need a disguise.

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  10. Pairing of socks is right behind ironing on my least favorite things to do list. I don't even try anymore I just leave them in the basket for [Wife #1] to tackle.

    I am definitely stealing the sock puppet idea, brilliant.

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  11. Well, you know that this has never been a concern for me as I don't WEAR matching socks and have not for some 25+ years. You also know my theory that when one refuses to wear matching socks the whole biz of going to "every sock drawer in the house" (how many do you HAVE??) is unnecessary. When one is worn out, one gets tossed out.

    Of course, the danger of getting SHITCANNED from your JOB for mismatched socks IS a distinct possy-billy-tea according to SOME people, but I like to live life on the edge (hence why my fav game of all time is Pokin' Th' Bear)

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  12. I have 2 basket of lonely socks in my laundry room. There must be a Bramuta Sock Triangle in my washing machine.

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  13. There are a couple of socks in the 'sock bag' that are too small for anyone in the house to wear anymore! I can't bring myself to toss them.

    Great idea for the puppets. I can't believe that you can actually get rid of all the socks... we have favorite pairs and the concept would meet great resistance, I think.

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  14. Sock puppets may be more fun, but in our house we put spare socks to use as dusters. They make great dust rags or general cleaning rags. Just slip it over your hand and get to work.

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