Enough About Me, Why Don't You Tell Me About What You Think Of Me...

My pal Splotchy offered to interview people and I took him up on it. Here's what he wanted to know:

1. I see that back in June you were readying a large number of socks for puppethood. Have you mounted a large-scale sock puppet production as of yet? If so, please summarize the plot, characters and themes.

Alas, Splotchy, the basket of socks are sitting in my garage, covered in grass clippings and motor oil and the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I have a commitment problem. I can only continue to do things that end up being bad for me (watching TV, swearing, shopping). Most altruistic efforts I undertake are sacrificed at the alter of the PlayStation. We are also recycling cans now and that's not going so well. We fill up plastic bags of cans and those bags are shuffled to the shed, instead of the back of the Jeep, where they can be driven .1 mile to the fire station that accepts them. I don't know what to say, other than when I say I am "prone to whimsy," I mean it.

2. While we're on the subject of appendages and clothing, which is it? Gloves or mittens?

It's gloves. I can't drive well in mittens. I need to have form fitting leather or Isotoner gloves so that my driving is not impared. Though I think mittens are cute, they are meant for others.

3. If you could be resurrected as any animal, what would it be, and why?

I would be an owl. I like to stay up all night and I would love to be able to turn my head completely around.

4. Does this look infected to you?

It kind of does. See how it's red and inflamed? Why don't you help yourself to some of my bactine and have this Veggie Tales band-aid? Take an aspirin and watch some General Hospital. You'll feel better soon. And for God's sake, don't pick at it!

5. What's your favorite font?

Palatino Linotype is in vogue with me these days:

Thanks, Splotchy, for the interview. If anyone would like me to interview you, you can:

Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."and... I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

then...

You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.and you can optionally

...include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same postand if you do...

When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.