Thursday, February 12, 2009

Exclusive! John Mayer's Birthday Song Lyrics

If you hadn't heard, John Mayer has penned a tune in honor of Jennifer Anniston's birthday and I happen to have caught a glipse of it while we were in rehab together last week. Now, the man doesn't have a good track record for birthday gifts, so I'm sure you're all dubious. But, it's actually not too bad.

Happy Birthday, Jennifer

40 years isn't old to a sea-turtle
In fact you'd just be hitting your prime
And we could swim together forever
In Australian brine

Wrinkles are signs of beauty
My lovely Chelonioidea
Your tough exterior turns me on
Why don't you come out of your shell

Swim with me
Through eternity
Your old age
Doesn't bother me
We'll smoke and drink
And laugh at others
We can be superior
Because we're sea turtle lovers

Anyway, that's all I caught. You can thank me later. I look forward to hearing this overplayed on top 40 radio stations for the next 3 months.


  1. It's actually an extrapolation of what I believe the lyrics will be based on his past behavior. So, it's not real...yet.

  2. Hey! Now you're making me feel old!!!