Thursday, March 29, 2007

After Jessica Simpson Flings The Thesaurus He Gave Her At His Head...

John Mayer can use it to find words to express how regretful he feels:

  • sorry

  • apologetic

  • remorseful

  • contrite

  • repentent

  • conscience-stricken

  • rueful

  • penitent

Or how he was a big jerk...

  • fool

  • idiot

  • rogue

  • scoundrel

  • dimwit

  • dope

  • creep

  • heel

Or perhaps he can thumb through it to find ideas for less ill-advised gifts...

  • diamonds

  • book of poetry

  • bath bombs

  • flowers

  • chocolate

  • mazarrati

  • a love song

  • a spa day

  • edible panties


  1. Delightful.

    I just LOVE hearing stories of men belittling their girlfriends. I hope J.Simp. is well schooled on the many varieties of the word "douche".

  2. Why would you want to be with someone that you think is dumb?

  3. So you can control them? So you can make fun of them to their face and they probably won't get it? So you can have something to talk about with your dickweed friends? So you can feel better about your own average intelligence?

  4. BO: Don't worry about it, sweetie. If you haven't touched a People magazine in 10 years, you probably won't get this.

  5. I have no interest in Jessica Simpson, but I find myself feeling sorry for her. A girl can be beautiful and famous and still end up with a turd for a boyfriend. She should throw him back on the shelf and shop for somebody new.

  6. I don't like either one of them, so I can't feel sorry for anyone in this situation. Maybe when they're strolling through the reference section of the library one day, a big stack of dictionaries will fall on their heads, and the music industry will be that much closer to being saved.