Tuesday, September 23, 2008

"I Want That In Writing," Doc Said

It was late, too late. We were in bed and Doc had a lot on his mind. He kept starting conversations just as I would start drifting off. He doesn't do this often, but every now and then he poses the most interesting questions. Like the one time he asked me if we had life insurance just as I was about to roll over and go to sleep. Scenes from the movie Double Indemnity immediately sprung to mind and I was instantly wary, wondering if he planned on bludgeoning me in my bed and making his way off to Tahiti with the settlement.

But getting back to the other night...

Doc had made a jibe about my earlier post and how I said "I was usually in charge in a relationship." He said, "You're in charge because I let you be in charge." Well, those are fighting words, such as they are in our house.

"What do you mean you let me be in charge?" I asked huffily. That is about as bad as letting me win at games.

"I let you make most of the decisions because we agree on everything, for the most part," he explained.

"How many times have I asked you your opinion before making a decision? A lot!"

"True," he admitted.

"I guess I didn't mean 'I'm in charge' in this relationship; I'm the one who usually takes action. We are both in charge...this is a partnership, right?"

"Right," he agreed.

There was a moment of silence and then he said, "Can I have that in writing?"

"You want me to blog about this, don't you."

"Would you mind?"

I don't mind.

Here let it be written:

We are neither of us in charge of the other in our marriage. I tend to make most of the decisions, but Doc has veto power. On the rare occasions when Doc makes the decision, I get the same rights.


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  2. I love this conversation!

    MizBubs and I have worked out some type of arrangement where we divide up what we're in charge of, and also times that if one of us is a little down in the dumps or overwhelmed, the other steps up and does what needs to be done. It's worked ok so far.

  3. Last March Kathy and I passed by the 25th anniversary of our marriage. We have made it this far because I have learned two important things:

    1) Every morning when we wake up I say I love you.

    2) Every evening before we go to sleep I say I'm sorry dear, it won't happen again.


  4. Whew! Good thing you set the record straight.

  5. I have a post in mind about being woken up by Spooky standing o'er me with a yellow broom this AM asking if I used it to sweep up "poopy particles" in the litter box room. I somehow think this might be the same thing.

    Let's all raise a glass to Two Way Streets!!

  6. Bubs: That's a good system...we pick up the slack for each other too, though I usually cry uncle before Doc does.

    SD: Congratulations on the 25 year milestone! Sounds like your plan works...

    Vikki: I know, right?!?

    Cap'n: Cheers!