Monday, February 11, 2008

This One's For Chris

I turned on the news to check the weather; we've got a mother of a snowstorm coming, according to all the hysterical meteorologists. I wanted to see if they were freaked enough to call off school for tomorrow. It was only about 5:45 and the only news on was Fox News. They were reporting on a product called the "Nu-Wave Oven" and, after having been tested by a local housewife, pronounced it a "dud."

"That's some 'news'," Riley proclaimed in a bored tone, using the air quotes like the true blogger she is.

And I thought I couldn't already be more proud of her.


  1. yeah, but WHY was it such a dud??

    I'm jealous of your girl, you know that??

  2. then again, I can be completely candid with my kids because they don't have the language to know what I'm saying, like, "OK, Daddy thinks it's time for bed. Not because you're tired, but because daddy is feeling completely selfish and he wants to sit and read and listen to his book and write some stupid treatise for his blog and maybe lookit some woman's bare chest WITHOUT having to constantly monitor your behaviour and checking to see if you're doing something you shouldn't. I'm tired of cleaning up after you, I'm tired of listening to you yell NOOOOO when I won't let you eat your lunch for tomorrow and I want peace and quiet and just a measly 30 minutes of being completely fucking selfish since I've got the house to myself, and I don't give a damn if that makes me a horrible parent."

  3. and you can remember I said this in a few days when I post about Jeremy Bentham, the panopticon, social control and Ben Vereen singing "Mr. Cellophane." The word is transparency.

  4. Ha! I do find it hard to believe that in this time of charged politics FOX couldn't find something to report on the Dems. Maybe they are saving up for after the primaries.

  5. That's kind of mean -- to do a national story on some new oven just to declare it a dud. Sounds like the PR folks at Nu-Wave aren't doing their jobs very well -- or maybe they pissed someone off at Fox.

  6. Everyone knows that the Nu-Wave Oven is a Liberal machine that just doesn't love America!

  7. UPDATE: I called Doc at home to shoot da' breeze and chew th' rag (where DO we come up with these phrases??) and Ms. R. answered the phone:

    R: Helllloooo??

    HL: Hello! How you doin?

    R: Oh, I'm fine.

    HL: Is your daddy there?

    R: Well, he's outside mowing the snow.

    HL: Oh, I see. Lots of snow up there, huh?

    R: Oh yes, he's got the big snow lawnmower going.