Piano Jams

Last night I started teaching Riley how to play the piano. Let's just say, I got off on totally the wrong foot. I forgot lesson number one for training:

If you're going to teach locksmithing, don't start out by teaching people the history of locks; show 'em how to pick a lock.

I started out trying to show Riley how to read music. And that's about as interesting as the history of locks. Plus, she wasn't getting it. And she's a bright kid. She got instantly frustrated and buried herself in the sofa after about 5 minutes into it.

"I never accomplish anything like this!!!" she wailed.

I realized I had failed. Granted, Riley has a very short stack of patience when it comes to learning something new and often gives up quickly if she's not a natural at it.  But I was very concerned that I was turning her off to making music for life (like I have turned her off to riding bikes forever and ever amen).

"Listen," I reasoned. "This is not about your inability to accomplish something; it's my fault. I should have started with something fun."

Eventually, I struck on a good reason for her to try again and we sat together at the piano. I put the piano primer aside and we played a good round of Chop Sticks. Then, I showed her the song you can play using a fist and the black keys. Then, I played the rhythm for Heart and Soul and I had her improvise a melody.

It was much better. And we even sounded good. I'd change up the tempo or synchopate it and she'd adjust to the mood. We had a blast. And I was able to work in some nuts and bolts: She can identify "C" on the piano and she knows that the musical alphabet goes from a to g and then starts over again.

I think that's a good start. She can be creative and hands on and I'll sneak in some technique as we go along.

The Kids

The girls are loving our new place. They just met some nice kids from the neighborhood today and got to play with them or a couple of hours.

As you know, my kids have their own unique sense of humor. For example, yesterday, they found gummi worms and spent a goodly amount of time ripping them in half, licking the ends and sticking them to their hands and arms. Then they ran up to us and yelled, "OH MY GOD I'VE GOT LEECHES!!!"

I pulled them off and gave them back and my stomach turned as they popped the "leeches" into their mouths.

And for some reason, Lucy has decided to start layering: First a pair of underwear, then some jammie bottoms, then another pair of underwear. It's quite a look. I think she's doing this because her newest pair of fleece pants are a little big for her and the second pair of underware helps to hold them up. She's a belt-and-suspenders type of girl.

Anyway, they are the best and I look forward to their wackiness everyday.

Riley Blogs!

You've asked for it...she's done it.

If you comment, please be nice and use good language...or I'LL THUMP YOU!

Conversations With Riley The Bureaucrat

"Mom, I need some help cleaning my room," Riley announced, clipboard in hand.


"Oh?"


"Yes, do you want to be the janitor?" she asked after consulting her list.

"Uh, no!" I said.

"How about doorman?"

"What else you got?"

"Librarian?" she said, "I've already got 'job-giver' filled..."

"Librarian it is," I said.

Riley the Bureaucrat, Level 6

I told you about Riley and her contracts, right? It was very cute and it made me very proud that she has the imagination to apply contracts to play time. She's also applied agendas to playdates. It's enough to make my bureaucratic heart burst with three-part forms requisitioning my pride in measured amounts.

Well, there has been a new development in Riley red-tapery.

My parents have a fabulous walk in closet, the back corner of which Riley has staked out as her secret hideout. Last week, when I arrived at my Mom's house to pick up the girls after work, Riley presented me with a "Security Pass."

"Yours is level SOLL," she informed me, "It's not as high as Grandma's, which is level DOLL, but it is higher than Lucy's, which is BOLL."

"What do I have access to with this, then?" I asked.

"It's for my secret hideout. The higher the security, the more you're allowed to see when you come visit me. Don't forget to bring your security pass!" She explained then took off running to her hideout.

I looked at my pass that had SOLL written on it among other things. I'd tell you more about it, but I don't know what your security level is, so I'd better not say. I might get fined. I took my pass back to the secret hideout and handed it to Riley. She opened up the little cherry wood lap desk and place the security pass inside it.

"By the way, you've been upgraded," she said. "You can now see more things when you visit like my calendar and my dolls."

"Great!" I said.

At this point, Lucy brought in a basket filled with toys and said, "I brought those toys you asked for, Riley."

"OK," she said, "Let me just change Mom's security pass and we can play."

I waited for her to file her paper work and started mentally running through a list of possible law schools that might have an early admissions policy.

She Gets It Honest

"Uh, Mom?" Riley asked.

"Yes, baby?" I said.

"Lucy and I agreed we each need time alone."

"Oh, really?" I asked. "That's nice." Riley had been complaining to me earlier that she wanted to spend time alone in her room reading and Lucy wouldn't leave her alone.

"Yes, well, she signed a contract anyway."

My Daughter Riley: The Conservative Voice In Our House

"Mom," Riley said, "We have a problem in the bathroom..."

"What is it?" I said heading in there, dreading what I might find.

"Look," she said pointing to the toilet seat. It was sitting crooked on the pot.

"Oh, yeah," I said, "I know; I'm buying a new one today."

The toilet seat came with the house. It's one of those awful puffy ones that exhales when you sit on it. It's white and has butterflies embroidered on the lid. It's starting to split at the front and it has simply seen its day. I've been looking for a good reason to replace it for ages.

"Oh, but I love this toilet seat...we can't get rid of it!"

Honestly, that girl gets attached to the strangest things...

Family Night

Jokes:

Riley: What's the grumpiest sea creature? A crab!

Lucy: Why is the elephant standing on a marshmellow?

Us: Why?

Lucy: Because he's not going to fall in the hot chocolate!

Lucy: Riley! They laughed their pants off! Let's get aonther joke!

Riley: Here's one! Let's rehearse it...

Lucy: No!

Riley: We've gotta rehearse!

Lucy: No! Let me tell it...

Riley: What knight designed King Arthur's round table?

Us: What?

Riley: Sir-Cumference!

Lucy: It's like they laughed their pants off! Let's go get another one! First one to the computer gets to tell the joke!

GHDP2K9: Preparation Update

We are well on our way to our Groundhog's Day party; it's only 17 days away. Of course you've probably heard we're redecorating here and there. My parents gave us their couch, chair, ottoman, 32 inch TV and stand. As we were preparing to move the old couch out into the garage for extra party seating, Riley flipped out.

"I don't want Grandma and Pop's couches! I love this couch!"

On and off all morning she would dip back into weepy sadness over the couch and would try to negotiate ways to keep the old couch.

"Baby, this train has already left the station," I told her. "I'm sorry this isn't working the way you want it to; you're going to have to find something positive about it because crying isn't going to change this decision." Two Men and a Truck were already at my parent's house and would be at our place soon.

At one point, Lucy came up to me and said, "Mommy...I tried to cry about the couch, but I couldn't; I'm just too happy."

"That's the spirit, Lucy!" I said, trying not laugh. I was actually very proud of her in that moment. She tried to be an ally with Riley and feel her pain as it were, but she just couldn't intentionally dampen her own spirits. I think this bodes well for her future.

As for Riley's depression, she's over it. The next day the neighbor girl came over and the three of them discovered new ways to have fun on this beautiful leather sofa. It's slippery and you can sit on the back of it with your backs toward the seats lean back, slide down and flip over. Again and again and again. I haven't heard word one about that old couch since.

I Love My Kids, But...

They're great. They're cute, cuddly, sweet, smart...but they are always in my personal space, and usually in a blind spot. Riley for example hovers just below my right elbow, so I don't see her until after I turn around clock her on the head accidentally. Lucy is more overt. She likes to sit on me, especially if I'm eating or doing something that requires concentration. I've gotten used to this and even rather like having them so close. I know this time is fleeting and soon they won't want anything to do with me, but that's hard to remember when they're waving an object 2 inches away from my eyes so that I may see it better.

But last night was the worst. I had put the girls to bed and snuggled up to watch some MASH with Doc. We settled in for a long winter's nap and all was well. Until sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I found myself with maybe 3/4 of a foot of real estate. Riley and Lucy both made their way into the middle of our bed. I propped myself up and assessed the situation frowsily. Hey, I thought, there's room at the foot of the bed! I was able to stretch out and have some space on either side of me down there. Satisfied, I fell back asleep.

...Only to be awaken by a thrust kick to my chest. Lucy had planted her feet and was continuing to apply pressure. I tried to scootch away only to discover my legs were pinned by Doc's feet. You'd think by now I would realize that having the children in our bed is a recipe for a bad night's sleep. I should have gotten up and moved to the couch or moved them to the couch. But no, I shifted again, this time I formed myself into a right angle so that my legs were along the foot board and my back along the edge. This did not work, as Lucy began to edge toward me and I was back to where I started: No room.

So, now I'm extra sleepy and drinking caffiene by the buckets, kicking myself as if I were Lucy asleep in my bed with me. But this is a testament to the way my brain works in the middle of the night, i.e. not at full capacity. Maybe I'll get a deadbolt for our door...

The Wisdom of Riley

We were at Rooster's Restaurant last night after I took the girls to get their hair cut. Riley had spent some time counting the 19 plus TV's in the place. At one point she stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"This looks like a beer bar," she said.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied.

"Why are all these men are here watching TV and drinking beer when they could be at home having fun, you know, talking?"

"That's a question for the ages, my dear," I replied.

Riley's Negotiations

Me: It's time for bed

Riley: Ok, I'll give you an hour to decide whether I should go to bed now or stay up later

Bedtime Story

"Mommy," Riley said, "Tell me a bed time story..."

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Riley..." I began.

"Stop! Not that one."

"And she stayed up too late. There was just too much going on. So she stayed up and stayed up until the wee hours until she finally dropped off to sleep. And then it was time to get up. She dragged herself out of bed and got to school. She was too tired to play at recess so she just stared out of the window. When she got home and saw her Mommy, she said, 'I'm so tired I think I'll go to bed early tonight.' And that night she went to bed earlier than she ever had. And she had wonderful dreams. When morning came she popped out of bed, threw on her cloths and had the best day ever."

"Hmm," she said, sleepily. "I think I'll go to bed early tomorrow night."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"But for the next story, could you tell one with a little more action?"

Debate Tactics

"I'm digging for buried treasure...there used to be pirates, you know," says Riley, digging in the flower beds.

"Not around here though," I replied.

"Yes there were," she argued.

"Well, pirates usually liked to be near the ocean and we aren't near the ocean."

"Yes we are."

"No, not really."

"Let's just say I'm right and move on," she said.

Riley Strikes Again

Riley snuggled up to me way passed bedtime. She reported that Lucy was asleep but she herself was not tired.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm warm, I'm comfortable, and I have you; what more could a girl ask for? ...except maybe a fashion show. We could design a line together..."

"Sounds good to me." I said.

And then we watched Matilda.

This One's For Chris

I turned on the news to check the weather; we've got a mother of a snowstorm coming, according to all the hysterical meteorologists. I wanted to see if they were freaked enough to call off school for tomorrow. It was only about 5:45 and the only news on was Fox News. They were reporting on a product called the "Nu-Wave Oven" and, after having been tested by a local housewife, pronounced it a "dud."

"That's some 'news'," Riley proclaimed in a bored tone, using the air quotes like the true blogger she is.

And I thought I couldn't already be more proud of her.

Nostalgia From a 5-Year Old

"Mom," Riley asked wistfully, "Do you remember that webpage Google..."

"Yeah," I said, "Good times..."

Proud Moments In Parenting.

Not only can Riley say the Pledge of Allegiance like a champ, she can also say it in a way that sounds like she's saying it under water.

Sniffle. We're so proud.

Riley's First Day of School

Riley woke me up at 7:00 a.m. "It's time for school!"

"Not just yet, baby," I replied, "Let's snuggle for a little bit."

So we did. At 7:30 we got up and I fixed Riley a bowl of Trix. As she ate, she complained of being sleepy.

"We'll get a bath; that will wake you up."

"OK."

So, Riley got a bath and then she got dressed. She's wearing a Chococat glitter tee and a plaid skort, very punk. While we were gathering up odds and ends, Lucy woke up.

"Do you want to go to the bus stop with sister?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, rubbing her eyes.

"Well let's get you dressed."

I got Lucy ready and it was getting close to the time Riley needed to be at the bus stop. We made our way outside, as I called Lisa. Her daughter Taylor is starting kindergarten today too. I heard Riley and Taylor yelling to each other across the street and gave up the phone call. They were already on the way.

We made our way to the bus stop on the most perfect of mornings. It was cool, sunny and dewy. After a few moments, Riley's other friend Brittney joined us. She's going into the second grade. We took pictures and the kids watched the garbage truck backing up.

And before you knew it, there was the bus. The girls got on the bus and all three of them took a seat together at the front of the bus and waved back at us. Lisa and I waved back and immediately started tearing up.

"I was so sentimental last night, I was looking for Taylor's baby book!" she said.

"You know, it didn't hit me until just now," I said, wiping my eyes.

Lucy looked up at me and stretched her arms up. "I want sister!" she said.

"Me too, baby," I said as I picked her up.

"God, they are in someone else's hands now!" Lisa said. "My baby's gone!"

"Yes, they are starting their independence for real." I said,

"Yep," she said.

"So, margaritas?" I asked.

"No doubt." she replied.

We agreed to get together later. I'm taking Lucy to meet her nursery school teacher today (sniffle). We'll then go to the library and out to lunch, I think.

Wow. I've been dreaming of this day for a long time. Riley is going to soar in school, I know it. She needs it. But godammit, she's growing up. From this point on, she's going to need me less and less. She probably won't want to sit on my lap much longer. Last night, she and I snuggled in her room and watched Grease for about a half an hour. She leaned her head against me and said, "The best times I have are with you." For now, I thought.

"Will you stay this age forever, Lucy?" I asked Lucy as I pulled her face toward mine.

"Uh-huh," she said, smiling.

Proud Moment In Parenting

Riley: Hey, Brittney, we're going to watch M.A.S.H!

Brittney: Oh, OK.

Riley: It's really funny. There's a man who dresses up like a woman. That's called being "in drag."

Brittney: That's funny. How do you know so much, Riley?

Riley: I don't know...my Mom, I guess.

Me: [heart swells with pride]