Sunday, April 19, 2009

Conversations With Riley The Bureaucrat

"Mom, I need some help cleaning my room," Riley announced, clipboard in hand.


"Oh?"


"Yes, do you want to be the janitor?" she asked after consulting her list.

"Uh, no!" I said.

"How about doorman?"

"What else you got?"

"Librarian?" she said, "I've already got 'job-giver' filled..."

"Librarian it is," I said.

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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Riley the Bureaucrat, Level 6

I told you about Riley and her contracts, right? It was very cute and it made me very proud that she has the imagination to apply contracts to play time. She's also applied agendas to playdates. It's enough to make my bureaucratic heart burst with three-part forms requisitioning my pride in measured amounts.

Well, there has been a new development in Riley red-tapery.

My parents have a fabulous walk in closet, the back corner of which Riley has staked out as her secret hideout. Last week, when I arrived at my Mom's house to pick up the girls after work, Riley presented me with a "Security Pass."

"Yours is level SOLL," she informed me, "It's not as high as Grandma's, which is level DOLL, but it is higher than Lucy's, which is BOLL."

"What do I have access to with this, then?" I asked.

"It's for my secret hideout. The higher the security, the more you're allowed to see when you come visit me. Don't forget to bring your security pass!" She explained then took off running to her hideout.

I looked at my pass that had SOLL written on it among other things. I'd tell you more about it, but I don't know what your security level is, so I'd better not say. I might get fined. I took my pass back to the secret hideout and handed it to Riley. She opened up the little cherry wood lap desk and place the security pass inside it.

"By the way, you've been upgraded," she said. "You can now see more things when you visit like my calendar and my dolls."

"Great!" I said.

At this point, Lucy brought in a basket filled with toys and said, "I brought those toys you asked for, Riley."

"OK," she said, "Let me just change Mom's security pass and we can play."

I waited for her to file her paper work and started mentally running through a list of possible law schools that might have an early admissions policy.

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