The First Annual Carlos Mencia Steal This Post! Call Me Mr. Tibbs...

Man! I am clearly having an identity crisis. Or am I? I don't feel misanthropic or needy. It's more like I can't get enough Diet Coke or feel enough good vibrations. Have I lost my mirth? Am I a lost soul? Or am I moping around? Who knows? Maybe it's that taste of freedom I'm getting now thinking about getting a tattoo on my ass. Whatever the case, I want to drink (fast) and play poker (hard) and get my kitchen remodeled (oh my), baby! Is that so wrong? Maybe I'll change my name to Zed. Hmm......

See the original here and the first rewrite here. Steal this post and re-write it to reflect your own sensibilities!

A Poem: When I Stepped Outside

Dedicated to Echo

When I stepped outside
I found the world had turned cool and green
The humidity blown away in the watches of the night

On 4 hours of broken sleep I headed off to work
Exhausted by the thought of the day
Wondering what ELSE I could do other than teach

At lunch I opened both my doors and let the air swamp out
With the lights off and the doors open
I felt my mind ease

I heard the yells of students and the babble of talk
Shouts from the playground out back
Kids playing in the clear blue air

I ate a candy bar and drank some sweet tea
In the cool dark of my room
And felt refreshed.

I suppose I could stay on for a day or so more.