Labor Day Resolutions

1. I promise to comment more.



2. I plan on sticking it to the man.



3. I will harass republican candidates tomorrow at the fair by leaving dirty napkins on their displays.



4. I will spend more time with Doc, planning the revolution.



5. I'll only eat the red M&M's.



6. I'll make a list of the first people against the wall when the revolution comes: Mel Gibson (natch), John Mayer, Citibankers, etc.



7. I'll try to grow a beard.



8. I'll stop picking scabs.



9. I'll consider picking up hitchikers.



10. I'll let someone guest-host my blog. Maybe.

Revised 2007 New Year's Resolutions

Well, not snoozing didn't work for me. I snoozed yesterday and I snoozed today. I'm going to keep trying to quit, though. After all it will be a new week soon. However, I thought I'd better find some other resolutions where the bar is a bit lower. Here are my aspirations for the year 2007:

1. Cease dotting my i's with hearts and/or stars.



2. Stop quoting from Joel Olsteen's book, You're Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living to Your Full Potential to all my friends and random strangers.



3. Start watching Full House religiously.



4. Shop for teddy bear sweatshirts to wear on casual Fridays.



5. Stop tucking in my sweaters.



6. Contemplate helping those less fortunate than I am.



7. Stop saying "yup."



8. Reread all of the Garfield cartoon strips from the beginning.



9. Monitor all of Mel Gibson's activities



10. Defeat Guitar Hero II on the "Hard" setting.

2007 New Year's Resolution Number 1: No Snoozing!

I have a very bad habit of setting my alarm ridiculously early in order that I may have the opportunity to choose the next morning whether to be an eager beaver and head to work early or hit the snooze a few times, giving myself the illusion that I am sleeping in. Guess which option I usually went with.

Well, no more of that this year! For all of us in my household 2007 is not the year of the pig, as so many Chinese people mistakenly believe, rather it is the year of the eagle, the Philadelphia Eagle, that is. I will speak more on this matter soon, just know that the movie Invincible has inspired me in more ways than I've already mentioned.

So, wish me luck as I give the snooze button a break. Hopefully it will help me, an average Joe, get on a fantastic team who will soon begin it's winningest season ever.