I'm My Mom's Joke Writer

The pact has driven me to watch some movies I wouldn't ordinarily deign to see. Last week, at the Tiki, I found myself faced with a movie I wouldn't watch on a bet in pre-pact days. But, since deprivation has driven me to desperation for new movies, I went with it. Wanna know what it was?
At first, I felt trepidation. I am very squeemish and I can't stand to watch blood, guts, or pain. Or so I thought. I began the movie horrified. Then I was amazed at the stupidity of these guys and their crazy stunts. Then I started to root for them to get mauled. All the while, I was hooting and howling with laughter and sympathy, along with all the others at the Tiki.
I must say there were some scenes I had to leave the room for and I was not the only one, thank you very much. Some dudes left the room too. I kept thinking I should stop watching the movie but I couldn't completely walk away from it. There is some genuinely brilliant slapstick in this film. And it was worth it to hang in there for the musical number at the end, which included a tribute to my man, Buster Keaton. At the time I shouted at the screen, "Don't do an homage to Buster Keaton! That makes you legitimate! Stop it!" But the farther away in time I get from this movie, the more I came to appreciate it for its artistry.
What is wrong with me?
But the best part of this season is Yul. He is supersmart, kind of dorky and knows how the hell to influence people. He is a master at lining people up and pointing them in a direction that they all believe they will benefit from. He knows that, in order to be successful in this game, you need to align with people whose behavior is predictable and upon whom he can rely not to get a wild hair up the ass and do something crazy. He also checks and rechecks his strategy and makes adjustments on the run. His spectacular gameplay has been a joy to watch.
God, I love this show!
For years, I've never understood what the appeal of Pink Floyd was. When I was 11 years old, I did buy a 45 of "Another Brick in the Wall" because of it's anti-school sentiment and because they played it at the roller rink. Secretly, however, it's message scared me. I liked school. I needed an education. Also, as a child, I had an irrational fear of being an orphan. I had seen a community theater production of Oliver Twist and it flipped a switch that caused me to dream about being lost or abandoned to nefarious orphanage owners or the military. This song's children's chorus reminded me of Oliver and his friends. However, I am a grown up now. My abandonment issues are, for the most part, resolved. I shouldn't really let that get in the way of enjoying what could be one of the best bands ever.
As an adult, though, I've been turned off by Pink Floyd, partly because of the lingering feelings of unease when I listen to their music. Also, most of their music that I have been subjected to via the radio or cover bands is so sleepy and lugubrious, my brain sort of shuts down at the first few notes.
However, I have many good friends who adore Pink Floyd. These are people I've shared good times and bad with. They were all at my wedding. They are trusted confidants and keepers of cool. We have many things in common, but Floyd is not one of them. Well, they have Floyd in common, but I've kept myself staunchly off that love boat.
And Big Orange
In the past, it has amused me to rile them up by denying the greatness of Floyd. Each one will give you many reasons why this band is worthy of worship. In fact, Elizabeth just told me that she considers Pink Floyd to be the most innovative rock band ever, even over the Beatles. But now it's time for me to grow up and face the music. Besides this morning I dreamed that I was bitten by rabid rat and it gave the day a decidedly Floydian twist. So, on my way in to work this morning, I listened to The Wall in its entirety for the first time. Here are my impressions:
Pros
Cons
I'm sorry my dear friends. I am no closer to appreciating Pink Floyd than I was before my rat bite. Perhaps I would have better luck with Dark Side of the Moon. However I do recognize that Floyd is an innovative band. They really pushed the envelope with what they were saying and how they were saying it, in that time. I will give them props for that.
I think what we have here, though, is a fundamental difference in music philosophy. I like my rock and roll to sound like rock and roll. I was raised on the Beatles, Led Zepellin, the Eagles, Roxy Music, Elvis Presley, and the many fine artists under the auspices of Barry Gordy in Motown: The Ronnettes, The Temptations, The Supremes and so on. I want to experience the human condition on a much more intimate level than Floyd offers. I don't want my mind to be blown, I want my heart to be blown.
When I want my mind to be blown, I'll just call one of the lovely people pictured above and talk to them.
I purchased Oasis' album Definately Maybe when it first came out in 1994. I didn't really know any of their tunes but decided to buy the CD anyway, based on the critical acclaim it was receiving. However, before I had a chance to really listen to the CD, the band quickly began to come unglued. Thinking them a bunch of knuckleheads, I abandoned the idea of even trying to give their music a listen. I'm shallow that way.
Twelve years later (gasp) I found their CD, dusted it off and loaded it up on my iTunes at work, where I have time to let music grow on me. Lo and behold: it's a pretty good album. I particularly enjoy Shakermaker and have provided you a Youtube so you can discover or rediscover this group of grab-ass playing goofballs for yourself.
I went to see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with a bunch of friends who are all fans of the book, from one-time readers to what you might call zealots. It was truly a joy. This movie was a love letter to the fans as well as to Douglas Adams. The makers of this movie took such care in its creation and had so much respect for the story and the author, it moved me beyond words.
I went to see Sin City at the theater last weekend with Shawn, Eoin and Elizabeth (see her account here). It's always nice to have a night out without the kids and I did have a good time. No really, I did. Even though I cried, shook uncontrollably, and walked out of the movie. The last time I felt that disturbed at the theater was after I watched Silence of the Lambs.
Having viewed Mary Poppins for the nintey-third time since Christmas and having listened to and read all the Harry Potter books over and over trying to make it easier to wait for the newest edition, I have noticed what seems to be a shared mythos. There are similarities in the way magic works and in the way the magic users behave. Similarities abound, in fact, if you look closely. And believe me I have. I no longer enjoy either for the plot; I can't anymore. I've just seen the movies/read the books, too many doggone times. In order to enjoy either one of them, I feel the need to start looking at structure, dialog, and the rules for their worlds.
Admiral Boom
Admiral Boom has the power of Divination; he can sense storms brewing in the Banks's home and even goes so far as to warn Mr. Banks that he's in for quite a ride. That Mr. Banks ignores his warnings outright, in fact responds with a completely automatic, "Yes, yes, very good!" when the Admiral details his doom, tells of a denial that rivals even the Dursely's. The Dursely's are conciously in denial, though, while Mr. Banks is too wrapped up in being impressed with himself that he wouldn't recognize a prophesy of doom if ran up to him and peed on his shoes.
Mr. Banks is not the only one oblivious to the powers of Admiral Boom. No one in the story remarks on the oddity of Admiral Boom's home. Why does no one complain about the cannons? Does the architechture not scream: madman who's taken too many booms to the head? This oddity seems to be inexplicably ignored by the people who inhabit this story. Perhaps there is some form of "does-not-compute-ism" and muggles just can't deal with magic on any level. Maybe, as in HP, Admiral Boom's house is magically cloaked like the Ministry of Magic building or St. Mungo's Hospital. These buildings in HP are intentionally being cloaked, but maybe being magical in MP's world is enough to disguise them from the muggles, whether this is intentional or not. I think Admiral Boom's state of making so little of an impression on others is not intentional on his part as he seems to be doing everything he can in order to be noticed.
Admiral Boom is the source of time. Bert comments early in the movie that the world gets the time from Greenwich, but Greenwich gets the time from Admiral Boom. You may have noticed that Mr. Banks questions the authenticity (and therefore authority) of the time Admiral Boom presents as 6:00 p.m. He actually says, "a bit early this evening, aren't we Admiral?" This, I believe, is another cue to let us know how out of step with the magical Mr. Banks really is. How does Admiral Boom calibrate the correct time? Is his home full of magical gadgetry? I have a feeling he and Dumbledore are probably on the same mailing lists.
Uncle Albert
Uncle Albert is a wizard of the prankster variety, ala Fred and George. He may even represent a sort of addict in the magic world. He cannot control his compulsion to laugh and he wants others to join him. Replace laugh with alcohol and suddenly it is not so funny. Actually, MP is very exasperated when she learns Uncle Albert is on the ceiling again; she learns this from a dog, I might add. Just as it is when you first meet a drunk: they are the life of the party. Then, it gets old, especially when you are called on time and again to rescue this poor sod.
Here, Bert is involved again, but rather than magiking Uncle Albert down, which MP could probably do, he has to counter the hilarity with sadness. This counterspell, if you will, remindes me of the Patronis spell which counters Dementors in HP's world. These Dementors bring about great sadness to their victims. A Dementor attack is described as feeling like you will never be cheerful again (kind of like the way clinical depression feels). The only way to protect yourself is to access the most wonderful memory you have and use it to ward them off. Parallel stories, but oppisite I think.
The Bird Lady
This woman is someone who MP admires very much. I'm not really sure why and I'm not sure if the story is not clear about it or If I just start to fade at this point in the movie. Perhaps the Bird Lady is akin to Hagrid: she has a special commraderie with animals. Maybe she was an old teacher of MP and showed her how to speak with and understand animals. She is also virtually invisible to Mr. Banks, who when compelled by his children, squints across the plaza to register her presence and then to denegrate her importance. Hagrid has a similar effect on muggles. Again, I'm sure there is a point to all this "feed the birds" nonsense, there must be to carry snowglobe around depicting the scene, but it is lost on me. Perhaps I can't see the magic. Perhaps it is merely a plot device to cause tension between the bankers and the children: the most opposite of opposites that ever opposited.
I would like to talk about the bankers. They are very similar to the goblins in HP in their dress and demeanor. That's all.
Mary Poppins
This woman, in the language of Harry Potter's world, is most definately a witch. She is handy with potions (see the customized cough syrup). She can charm objects into movement (see cleaning the nursery). She can fly/levitate. She can speak with animals, she can carry many items of a wide variety of sizes in her carpet bag, even the illogical floor lamp. She can also charm people. She can get overexcited children to sleep with one song. One song. It takes me two stories and 5 songs to get mine to sleep. The entire Banks household, excepting of course Mr. Banks, are cheered by her presence. They are captivated by her spell. Mr. Banks suspects her of bringing chaos into the order of his home, which is true, I guess. It's more of a revolution against his rule of law and order, I think. He hasn't yet learned the lesson that being joyful is better than being in control of everything. I suspect that she is the best Nanny Witch there is.
In HP's world, however, I'm sure she would have to answer to Mr. Weasley in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office over many of her actions. Although, she does a good job of covering up her powers to the muggles by denying that any of it ever happened and writing it off as childish fancy, even to the children she experienced magical things with. Really, who would believe a child over the nanny in those days? She is a very powerful witch and does some amazing things. I wonder if she appears on any of those Famous Witches and Wizards cards you get with a Chocolate Frog.
She and Harry are parallel but opposite. She is accomplished in her craft and in her culture. He is just learning both, although he has great potential, especially in defense against the dark arts. She is respected and above reproach. He is respected by a small circle of people, famous to many, but easily scapegoated. She is very good at potions, Harry is not so much. She has confidence, poise, and vanity. Harry doubts himself and wishes to blend in more. Although he can get caught up in himself, I seriously doubt he would ever refer to himself as "Practically perfect in every way."
As you may be able to guess, I have been driven to comparative literature through shear repetition. The appitite of a three-year old to see something again and again knows no bounds. As I make deeper grooves in my memory of the fairy tales and legends I see repeated in their many shapes and sizes, I continue to be amazed by the creativity. Just as Tolkein started with his home and built a legend for his country, so did Rowling. She used her home, late 20th century England and picked up the legend and turned it like a kaleidescope. The messages are the same in these works: goodness and joy and fun are more important than work and rules and compliance or blind alligience to authority. It's really quite fascinating and I'm even more impressed with her work as I start to look at its structures.
Either that or I'm just going batty with the reruns.
By the way, I'd like to leave you with this syllogism: