The Canoe Trip: On the Homefront

While Doc was on his canoe trip a couple of weeks ago, I got to spend a few evenings at tiki. One night, Wednesday, which is traditionally tiki night, I got to hang out with my neighbor dudes and one of my coworkers. And what did we talk about? Cable wiring, in particular, RGB, HD, the value of having multiple boxes. At one point, I was like, "Seriously? This is what you talk about at tiki?" No one answered me, of course, because they were all in the throes of a heated debate over who was right on a job site issue. Three of the guys were working together to expand the patio of a local bar. Markus had said he didn't want to talk shop at tiki but one of the other guys persisted. I think they were looking to my other neighbor, Jerry the Cable Guy, to add his opinion and resolve the matter.

I have no idea if it was settled or not since I was bored out of my mind...and I'd had a couple of beers. So, at the first breath in the conversation, I said, "Peace out" and headed home. What a bummer. But I understand work issues, particularly political ones, can be the source of endless debate and conversation for those directly involved. Since I wasn't involved and the subject matter wasn't sexy enough for my taste, I couldn't be compelled to stay. I did try to hang in there, though and learn something. But beer on top of a full day's work triumphed and led me to bed.

It was a much different experience the following Saturday, after we got home. I had slipped over to the Tiki for a quick break and found Frank there alone. He gave me a beer, as he is wont to do and started a conversation. We ended up talking about relativity, which was a trip as it was a concept he was unfamiliar with and he kept trying to grok my meaning. We were both the worse for the beer and I found myself struggling to explain while he struggled to understand. This was more the type of conversation I was looking for. I think I might have helped him create a new wrinkle in his brain.

However, things turned ugly after a while, since he started to complain about the actions the government (he's not a fan) are taking to set up universal heath care. He's very upset that they are trying to spend money they don't have, since they robbed social security to pay for the war and other pet projects. He was very vocal in his outrage, so much so that I found myself listening more intently. People who yell don't scare me anymore and I believe they are yelling so they can be heard. So rather than fight back, I try to set aside my interior monologue and just listen.

I'm somewhat of a fan of government. I appreciate the protection it provides and I believe that, people being people, there will always be some foolishness involved. So I don't sweat the red tape, the bureaucracy, the inherent unfairness of the fact that the government can over extend itself financially, but I get busted for $39.50 if I overdraft my checking accont by seventy-nine cents. But after Frank's outcries, I'm starting to smart a little bit more from the unfairness.

I'm not sure what Frank hoped to get out of that conversation. Perhaps some catharsis. Perhaps some action. But here's a guy who's self-employed and a host of problems stemming from money (just like most of us have) and he's mad as hell and doesn't want to take it anymore. People are so wrapped up in their own financial maelstorms that they can't or won't look at the source...the butterfly flapping it's wings. And will killing the butterfly fix it? This is where Frank and I disagree. But there must be some middle ground, right?

It's a New Day

Uncle Louis

Well, I'm back from STL and I'll tell you one thing: It's no NYC. But I guess I should have suspected as much. Maybe it was my high expectations, but I left there feeling duped. The Arch! The Mississippi! Louis and Clark statues! Route 66! Budweiser! And the Bowling Hall of Fame! Yes, they are all there, but they might as well be here.

I've noticed a trend recently. From Easton Town Center to Legacy Village to the Warehouse District in Cleveland, to Akron, to St. Louis: in order to spruce up the place, they've all taken a page from Disney's book and remade their downtowns in the image of a simpler time. While I appreciate the charm of an outdoor village with cute shops, it kind of all feels soulless.

I suppose it's better than boarded up shops and cracked up streets. I'm sure all these places are the victims of "best practices." The city planners have all visited each other and said, "Hey! It works for Columbus, it will work here!" It's the same mentality that got us into the War: If democracy works for us, it will work for everyone. And we all know that was a big farce. We want the fast track to oil or tourists dollars or what's left of our disposable income. We don't care to take those best practices and have them custom made for the locality. No, that would require what we call "thinking." I guess, on the positive side, we're pretty good a mass production.

Don't get me wrong; I love my country. But we keep selling ourselves short. Rather than slowing down, taking a breath and sleeping on it, we slap what looks like it will work on top of a mess and hope for the best. And we repeat it everywhere we can. How else do you explain tax abatements?

I had dinner one night at a restaurant that was supposed to make me feel like I was in NYC. I visited the "Warehouse District" and I was supposed to feel like I was in the early 20th Century. Why can't I just go somewhere and feel like I was where I was? And that was somewhere special because it represented something and not because of some Sears & Robuck style smoke and mirrors? Only the eight of an inch that remains of Route 66 in this area made me feel like I was somewhere special.

We stopped at Ted Drewes Custard stand, which was busy and thriving. It also looked like it belonged on Route 66. And unlike the other Historic Sites on Route 66 that we passed, it was open and people from this day and age were spending some time together. It was sunny, people were happy. And everyone seemed to understand this was special. My pal Jeff and I were taking pictures of each other next to the route 66 sign and Ted Drewes. Some locals offered to get us both in the shot. They asked us where we were from and recommended their favorites.

We walked up to the menu posted on the side of the ice cream stand. An older gentleman was looking up, confounded. He was trying to find the price of a Sin Sundae so that he could figure out what he owed his friend. He asked us if we knew, but we didn't. We helped him find the price and tried to figure out what we wanted too.

We ended up with small sundaes, eaten out of a plastic St. Louis Cardinals ball cap. We ate quickly. lest the ice cream melt and, besides, we were anxiouse to head west on Route 66 for some kicks. I'm sure we must have taken a wrong turn. In fact, I'm surprised we didn't end up in Dale's backyard. But, before we knew it, we beheld the Arch off in the distance. We were headed back downtown.

It was here we gave up on St. Louis. We cried "uncle" and decided to cruise the street our hotel was on, Natural Bridge Road. We eventually found ourselves at the Breakaway Cafe, which was marvelously "local." There were even locals there, enjoying their meals. I had one of the local brews, Budweiser (prounounced Bud-wyz-er) and enjoyed one of the best hambergers I've ever eaten.

We waddled back to our white Hyundai and made our way home: Just this side of the Hollywood Hustler store on Natural Bridge Road. We slid into an extra wide parking spot at the hotel and entered through the side door, welcomed by a blast of cold air, hotel cleansers and chlorine. I now know exactly how the Tydee Bowl man feels when he punches in at work.

But, hey, St. Louis is a place with all the baggage of a midwest recovering manufacuting town and all the charm of southern humidity. I realize that "Warehouse Districts" are trying to make use of old buildings, and I appreciate that. I don't like the complete new "villages" or "town centers" that wipe away clean the local mom and pop stuff. Why not give mom and pop grants to spiff up their images instead? Why not use open lots for something more organic than a place to park? Why not add some sidewalks, too. Lots of people are walking these days, just like Jesus did.

I came home from St. Louis with my eyes open. If we're not careful, the powers that be will franchise America. And that would be great, if other nations were buying it. It would fund new ideas and a Madonna-like reinvention of this old broad we call our home land. But they're not buying it...or maybe they are. And what will we do with all that cash?

Start Spreading The News

I'm headed for NYC next month. Would anyone like to get together on the evening of Thursday, June 5th? Let me know in the comments or email me at greenpearl42 at yahoo dot com.

I'd like to have this kind of time, if you have any suggestions for things to do/see:

Things That Make Me Cry

1. Other people crying


2. Frustration


3. Concerts


4. Stubbing my toe and/or barking my knuckles or shins


5. Lonliness


6. Exhaustion


7. Traffic jams


8. Triumph


9. Laughing


10. Beauty

I'll pass you a tissue if you tell me something that makes you cry...

Some Summer Reading

America 101

Sample quote: "The neglect of urban education – a capital moral offense in its own right – is but a symptom of what is happening in America. We are retreating from our social compact all down the line." Bill Moyers

What do you think?

Ahem...

Sorry I lost my cool you guys. Poverty is a hot button issue with me. I think about it every day and my work involves trying to alleviate its effects on learning. I could go on an on about how the poor start out in school at least three years behind their middle and upper class counterparts (at age five, they are already more than half their lifetime behind!) how hunger and toothaches prevent children from learning, how cultural differences can cause some children to be labeled "learning disabled" because the way they act and learn is different from their middle class teacher's way of doing things, how their parents are afraid to into the school because of negative experiences they had as students so these kids have no one to advocate for them. You tell me how will they ever escape poverty without academic success. They won't in a knowledge/information based economy, that's for sure and they won't get the education they need without an even playing field.

In W's defense, I am totally behind his sweeping legislation called the No Child Left Behind Act. I believe it is a civil rights act even more so than an educational one. It forces schools to be accountable for "subgroups" they were never held accountable for before, i.e. special ed kids, minorities, free and reduced lunch kids. NCLB is imperfect, it is shamefully underfunded, and its implemementation has been problematic. However, it is up for renewal and many educators and education organizations have made very specific recommendations for its improvement.

If not for the war in Iraq, Katrina, and all the closed-door dealing that has gone on, his legacy could have been one of a president who shined a light on inequity in education and made steps to correct it. So, perhaps I was a bit unfair in my attack the other day. However, I do believe that sometimes his left hand doesn't know what his right hand is doing, and not in a good way. With one hand, he is trying to level the playing field for everyone to have success in America. With the other, he is spending every penny he can find to fund the war in Iraq and it breaks my heart. Just think of what the US Education system could do with $24 BILLION.

But we do what we can with what we've got. NCLB is a grand, if problematic, idea. When a democrat takes office in January 2009 and NCLB is renewed with improvements recommended by education professionals, and we withdraw our troops from Iraq, we may see things start to change for the better. Until then we must continue to move forward the best we can.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

GET OFF MY TV, W AND STEP AWAY FROM MY AMERICAN IDOL! HOW DARE YOU THANK ME FOR HELPING PEOPLE IN POVERTY?!? WHY DON'T YOU LIFT A PRETTY LITTLE MANICURED FINGER AND DO SOMETHING YOURSELF?!? HOW ABOUT FIRING SOME PEOPLE? HOW ABOUT COPPING TO YOUR FATAL LAPSES OF JUDGEMENT?!? HOW ABOUT STEPPING THE FUCK DOWN AND BITING MY SHINY METAL ASS?!?

DON'T THINK YOU WILL WIN ANY POINTS BACK FOR BEING ON THIS SHOW. I'M SURPRISED THE AUDIENCE DIDN'T BOO YOUR ASS. THEY WERE PROBABLY AS SHOCKED AS I WAS TO SEE YOUR OVER-REHEARSED BANTER/PANDERING MUG BESMIRCHING THE ATMOSPHERE OF IDOL AND TAINTING ALL THAT IT STANDS FOR! COME ON, THEY JUST GOT CREDIBILITY AND NOW YOU'VE SHIT ALL OVER IT!

Seacrest out.

P2W Purity Watch: Imus + Girls Gone Wild

It seems to me lately that this country is taking a decided swing toward decorum and let me be the first to say I am happy as a lark. People are finally standing up against the insidious racism and misogyny that permeates pop culture. The chickens are coming home to roost for some people and it has been a long time coming.

For instance, there is Don Imus, the original "shock jock". I must confess I've never listened to his show for more than 4.5 seconds; his voice grates on my nerves and his content is painful to absorb. However, I have heard enough of what he says (mostly via the Howard Stern terrestrial radio show) to know that he is self-serving and nasty. Here is a man who bullied many in the press and in Washington to believe that they lacked credibility if they wouldn't face him as a target in his studio. This man said hateful things and accused people who spoke out against him as lacking a sense of humor.

Well, count me in the group that lacks a sense of humor. Frankly, I'm tired of the barrage of negative language toward African-Americans and women. I've witnessed racism and sexism and tried to let it pass through me. But I can't help absorbing some of it as if I were a filter feeder; hateful flecks of negativity have really built up in me against my will. I'm not going to put up with it anymore.

At first I was alarmed that Imus lost his job over something he said. I believed that it was much ado about nothing. I worried about our First Amendment Rights. I also thought the coach of the Rutgers team should have encouraged the girls to let it go and move on. Why direct any energy toward anything that man says? I discovered, after reading Newsweek, that that indeed was the coach's original advice, but the girls couldn't move past it. They kept wondering, "Why us?" Why them indeed. It was a random act of sexism and racism in the name of a quip. There was no reason to single out this team for punishment. But, when there are no consequences, there are no reasons not to pick off everyone who passess through the sights of your sniper rifle of humor, right?

And then there's the Girls Gone Wild guy, Joe Francis. I'll have you know that I felt a sense of glee when I heard he was in trouble. As a mother of two girls, I shudder at what effect this man's product would have on my daughters. There seemed to be no one crying out against him for a long time. I remember the first time I saw an ad for one of his videos. I felt my insides crumple as I saw girls who were either coaxed or who happily obliged to show their bodies off for a guy with a camera. But what can you do? These women were of age...or they seemed to be.
Now according to Yahoo!, Joe Francis has been sued for some 70 million dollars by girls who were filmed by him when they were underage. He claims they lied about their ages and threw a hissy fit when they were trying to settle matters, flinging obscenities at them. He was held in contempt and sentenced to 35 days in jail. According to the story:

"His attorney, Jan Handzlik, said being in jail had changed his client.

'He is a different man. Undoubtedly he is a different man,' he said."

Let's hope both these men are are different men as a result of the recent turn of events in their lives. Maybe, as is already underway in the Imus camp, these men will speak out against racism and mysogyny, under the "Only Nixon could go to China," school of thought. I think Imus will have a better chance of success. So far, he is the only one of the two not to act up after the tide turned against him. Also, he has influence over a large number of people who participate in backstage racism, or that kind of racism that can flourish when white people are hanging out with white people. I have hopes that Imus could be a voice for change, now that his nuts are in a ringer and he can take this opportunity to atone for his years of being nasty. The other guy? Not so much.

Only time will tell and I will keep my eyes on the matter; after all, this new wave of raving/misbehaving/apology/rehab/repentence was started by Mel Gibson and his anti-semetic rant. I told you it was all his fault.

Why I Wish I Had Laid Out The Eighty-Seven Bucks To See Justin Timberlake In Concert

I regret heartily that I didn't throw thrift to the wind and shell out the dough for a fair-to-midland seat for the recent Justin Timberlake Concert. It's not just the fact that he delivered quite a show, according to Genn6's accounting. Right now, he is at the very peak of his fame so far and I feel like I've missed being a part of a cultural phenomenon.

Granted, a Justin Timberlake concert is no Woodstock or LiveAid concert, but it is significant event in music. Here is a man who was able to shake loose the stigma associated with being part of the Mickey Mouse Club and N'Synch and really blossom into an artist with significance, significance being record sales. To me, he seems to be at the apex of his career so far. He could continue to rise in significance and become an icon, ala Bono or Madonna. He could make successful album after successful album and maybe even influence world events. He could also slide away and become a characiture of himself, ala Elvis Presley or Cher.

In this post-arena rock, microcosmic world, a girl has to really dig to find a culturally significant event that is both significant to her and in her price range. So far, in my life, I've suffered great disappointment in the culturally significant events I've attended. Among the disappointments, I would first have name Hands Across America as the greatest offender. I was fifteen going on sixteen and I was totally stoked to be apart of a nationwide and literal get-together for charity. When we arrived on Route 62 in Alliance, Ohio there were plenty of people, but not enough for us to stretch across the highway and hold hands. We were all a good 20 feet apart. What a bummer.

Since then, I have looked for smaller venues to find that magical connection with the people around me. For instance, I went with Doc to see the movie "Old School" at a theater after 9:00 p.m. on a Saturday night, which meant the audience was full of people around our age. There were no kids and no annoying people. Sitting in that theater and laughing with a group of strangers numbering in the hundreds was more of a connection to humanity than Hands Across America could ever be, in my opinion. It was a small event, to be sure, and we weren't trying to end hunger or anything, but for a couple of hours, I felt a part of something.

Now, going to see Justin Timberlake in concert at this moment would probably qualify on the drink size scale as a "Large" event (not small, medium or supersized). His concert tour probably won't change the world. But for those few hours, a couple of thousand people and I would be connected together through music that is innovative, cutting edge, sexy, and understated. The show would be visually stunning what with the light show and all the dancing. And all of my thousands of new BFF's would have seen Justin Timberlake at either his launching point into superstardom or the moment before his downfall. We would have cultural braggin rights, to be sure.

Sigh. Life is too short to pass on culturally significant events. When I'm an old woman, I want to be able to pull a box of momentos off a shelf when my grandchildren come to visit and show them some really amazing things. For now, I have momentos from buying the sixth Harry Potter book at midnight the first day it went on sale. I have concert ticket stubs from bands that have since been inducted into the Rock Hall. I also have stubs that I will never admit to having. I want to show my grandkids that I lived. I soaked up what I could, when I could. I want them to see me as someone who was connected to this world, and even if she wasn't on the stage, she was in the audience for something great.

You may say, why not just see Justin on his next tour? I could do that, I suppose, but by then he'll be either sinking or catapulting and not at this interesting crux he is currently on. He'll either be over or the tickets will be even further out of my price range. I've missed the Timberlake window. But don't worry about me; I'll get over it. Believe you me, I've got my eye on the horizon and when the timing is right, I'm going to dive into the sea of humanity and soak it up.

Russians: Why Don't They Read Some Guy's Blog?

Our pal Chris seems overwraught by the fact that no one from Russia has ever stopped by his site, so I'd like to help him find some topics that Russian people would find entertaining or engaging. Since I have had at least one person from Russia who may have stumbled here accidently, I believe that makes me an authority on Russian people's taste. Let's see what some of them think, shall we*?

Racism

Vadim, a 30 year old IT-Specialist, might like to discuss racism over at Some Guy's Blog. Here's a taste of what he thinks:

Flannery: "Is there a lot of racism in Russia? Do any black people live there?"


Vadim: “ No, it’s not. And racism won’t be in Russia. There are artificial attempts to spread it. Black people live, I saw.”

Perhaps there's a conspiricay theory about artifical attempts to spread racism in Russia. I bet if Chris wrote about it, Russians would read his stuff.

Americans

Maybe Russians don't visit Some Guy's Blog because they hate Americans. The South still doesn't seem to be over the Civil War, why would Russians be over the Cold War? Let's find out what Ksenya a 30 year old English teacher wants to say.

Flannery: "What do Russians think about Americans and other foreigners?"


Ksenya: “There's a big difference between Americans and other foreigners. Americans are too arrogant, too proud of themselves. They think America's great and all the rest of the world is nothing. But all the other foreigners are really good people, most of them. I'm talking about people from the West, British people, Italians, Germans. I think anybody else is really cool, really good. Americans just have a funny attitude towards the rest of the world. I don't like Americans.”

Maybe, Chris, you could tone down that "funny attitude" for the sake of Russo-American relations and that would garner you some Russian hits.

Change

Perhaps you could help to foment change in Russia. I'm sure there are a lot of things that could be improved. Just listen to Mark, a retired engineer from Vladimir.

Flannery: "If you could change one thing to make life better where you live at what would it be?"


Mark: One more oil hole. Just kidding… To be serious, I’d like to change principles of selecting people who occupy powerful and leading positions. They just take people from the middle of nowhere and raise them from dirt without any reason. Like in case with our prime-minister Fradkov. I’ve never heard about him before his arousal.

I think prime-ministerial arousal is very interesting, don't you?

In conclusion, I think Russian people should like Some Guy's Blog. I think, if Chris and the Russians put aside their preconceptions and stereotypes and dug deep, they would find they have many things in common. But don't blame yourself too much for not appealing to Russians, Chris. Russian people kind of sound like assholes to me, so no big loss.

*Interviews lifted from a here.

News For Spiritual Seekers: Zeus Is The New Black

According to Yahoo! News, Zeus and Company are making a comeback. Apparently, this new religion is gaining in numbers; like the Never Nudes, there are dozens of them, Dozens! They are mostly religious scholars and other nerds who plan to conduct a ceremony to honor the big 12 at an 1,800 year old temple to Zeus. They are, of course, being blocked by the Greek government who wish to protect ancient sites. But the Greek government is not full of anti-pagan nay-sayers; they actually recognized this religion as official last year. It's adherents are permitted to marry people and that sort of thing.

Sadly, though, this tiny tribe of followers of the Big 12 Greek gods have already broken into two opposing sects. And they can't even decide what to call themselves, either Ellinais, or Hellenic Religion. I'm not too sure which gods are the Big 12, according to these folks. However, thanks to Wikipedia, we can gather some idea. Here is a list of the usual suspects:

1. Zeus, the CEO, Ruler of Mt. Olympus, god of the sky
2. Hera, wife of Zeus, the goddess Queen of the heavens and stars, of marriage and fidelity
3. Poseidon, god of the sea, rivers, and springs, floods and earthquakes
4. Ares, god of offensive war and slaughter
5. Hermes, god of guidance, travelers, commerce, inventions, oratory, shepherds, consolation and reunions, athletics, patron of thieves, and messenger of the Gods.
6. Hephaestus, god of fire, workmanship, artisans and weaponry and the craftsman of the gods.
7. Aphrodite, goddess of love, sexuality, outer beauty and attraction.
8. Athena, goddess of wisdom, the crafts (especially weaving, pottery and carpentry), inner beauty, education and defensive war.
9. Apollo, god of prophesy, light, music, healing, disease and medicine and archery
10. Artemis, goddess of the hunt, animals, wilderness and the protector of young girls.

Those ten are for sure in the Top Twelve and here is a list of rotating alternates, for those of you keeping score at home:

1. Heracles, god protector of man from evil and of heroic endeavour (after his elevation to godhood).
2. Hebe, goddess of youth and brides
3. Helios, god of the sun, brother of the moon, Selene, and the dawn Eos.
4. Hestia, goddess of the home, family and the hearth.
5. Demeter, goddess of the fertile earth and agriculture. Her bounty sustains mankind.
6. Doinysus, youngest of the Olympians, and god of wine, vegetation, fertility and the theater. He alternates with Hestia in ancient lists of the twelve Olympians. Some scholars do not count Dionysus among the Olympian gods because though he is the son of Zeus, his mother was a mortal.
7. Hades, god king of the third portion of the universe, the dark gloomy underworld, home of the dead.
8. Persephone, goddess queen of the underworld, death, and spring renewal.

Apparently, 20 out of a total of 34 adherents of this old school religion were successful in holding their festival next to (not in) the Temple of Zeus with little fuss and ado. They are demanding world peace and education for everyone, noble goals to be sure. I wonder, though, if their pleas for world peace will piss off the likes of Ares. I'm not sure how they will reconcile that little detail. However, dogma has been squished and smeared and pressed into logical boxes to be filed away for years and years by many other religions, so I suppose it's possible here too. But, if I recall my Homer and Hesiod correctly, these particular gods are pretty touchy about being ignored or dishonored. I fear for these 34 people that they may be smote down by a revived god of offensive war and slaughter. Perhaps, they will get lucky and this new Ares will emerge as a more PC type and he will represent the god of offensive war on terror, drugs, and poverty as well as the god of the slaughter of racism. Let's keep our fingers crossed that Ares will just be so glad to be revived that he won't want to be the god of offensive war, in the traditional sense of the word.

If the threat of being punished by the god of offensive war is not enough to put the combined panties of these sincere followers of Zeus and company in a wad, what about the wrath of the Greek Orthodox Church? This is an organization that, for sure, has no interest in seeing the revival of the ancient pagan religion. They've already crushed it once, after all. So far, the Greek Orthodox Church's first move is to frown disapprovingly at them. But, I gather, they are slow to anger these days. I'll keep an eye on the matter and let you know when the stonings/burning at the stake/ostracizations occur.

My question for the followers of the big 12 is this: Why revive such a complicated system of beliefs? Rather than having one god in three parts watching everything you're doing, you've got up to 18 various gods on your ass at any given time. I mean, these gods almost outnumber your membership! Besides, what about all that sacrificing? It is time consuming, expensive and messy. If you're a lady, you have to worry about being a target of Zeus' wandering eye. The next thing you know, you're saddled with a child like Achilles, who was more than a handful, let me tell you. You always have to watch what you say, as these gods are touchy and vengeful. Instead of confessing your sins and getting absolution, they'd just as soon tie you to a rock out at see and let the gulls poke your eyes out. Or they may make you push a boulder up and down a hill over and over again in aeternum. It just doesn't seem like it's worth it, to me.

I think I might know what is behind the move to revive this old time religion. The followers are a group of scholars. They love their history. They love it so much, they want to relive it. They are the Greek equivalent of Civil War Reinactors and members of such institutions as the Society for the Creative Anachronism. That the state has recognized them as an authentic religion has added fuel to their passion to live what they've learned, regardless of how inappropriate, ill-fitting or inconvenient it might be. Don't get me wrong, I love that they are doing this. I myself was a member of the Society for the Creative Anachronism. I was almost engulfed by the Trekker sub-culture. I empathize greatly. As a student of ancient history, I admire their willingness to go for the gold, so to speak, and represent ancient religion.

However, having read many of the classics that had these gods as characters, I never not once had any inclination to live during these time, either Greek or Roman. I always found the gods to be petty, head-strong and selfish. They were cruel. They were the personification of all things not human. They treated people as playthings in a giant game of revenge against each other. I personally, am glad to have a more simplified faith with a forgiving god. I appreciate the judeo-christian god's laissez faire attitude toward humanity. I like have the opportunity to fuck up my life, ask forgiveness and be given a clean slate to try again. I've really got too much on my plate as it is to worry so much about offending this god or that. I probably couldn't keep up with the sacrifice schedule. And toga? No-ga.

So, while I wish these folks well on their quest to revive the inhabitants of Mt. Olympus, I also kind of hope they fail. After all, don't we have enough monsters in this world already?

The President's New Plan: A Reaction In Haiku

Picture found at Bartcop.com

There you stand alone
Not ready to stop playing
With your toy soldiers.

I Love Smart People

I heard about this story on the news this morning. This little Italian village that gets virtually no sun in winter installed a mirror in the surrounding mountains in order to reflect the sun's rays onto their dark and sleepy town. So, now the villagers can bask in the winter sun light and their new found fame, as many other dark and cold towns are hoping to share the spotlight. This is civilization at its best and no one had to get disembowelled in the proces, Mel Gibson.

America: Stop It!

So now Apocalypto has received a Golden Globe nomination for best foriegn language film. This is so wrong. First of all, in my opinion, foriegn language films ought to come from foriegn language speaking artists. Oh, wait, I forgot! Mel Gibson does speak a foriegn language: crazy. Secondly, this nomination indicates that this picture is on the road to the Academy Awards. Sigh.

*****

Stop liking this movie, people! It's bad for the collective unconscious. And it contains rat hair.

Riley's World View

Riley and I were sitting at the kitchen table, coloring, while Lucy was sleeping and Doc was doing the dishes. Riley presented an idea:

"We should have a coloring party!" she said.

"Oh, yeah?" I replied.

"Yeah," she confirmed, "We could invite Elizabeth and Spongebob."

"OK," I said.

"Who do you want to invite?" she asked.

"How about Drake and Josh?"

"We can't invite them; we don't have their phone number!" she explained.

"We don't have Spongebob's phone number either," I countered.

"No, I thought we could watch Spongebob at the party," she said.

"Oh, I thought we could invite anyone in the world." I said.

"Well," she thought for a moment, "We can invite anyone in the world...just not Mexico."

"Not Mexico," I said, trying not to roll on the floor laughing. I looked over at Doc, who was still at the sink; his shoulders were quivering with mirth.

"Nah," she said, "We don't have their phone number either.

A Little Late, But Still Funny

I have this cartoon displayed at my desk. It's very satisfying, wouldn't you agree?

Seriously, W.T.F.?!?

O.J. Simpson:
Evil Genius or Raving Madman?

From Yahoo! News:

Relatives of the victims in the Simpson slayings case are lashing out at the planned publication of a book by O.J. Simpson in which he discusses how he would have committed the killings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

So, basically, it's his long-delayed confession, no?

How stupid does he think we are? Why not write about his tireless search to find the "real killers"? That would be the book that would paint him as an innocent man of his word, rather than a plotting cold-blooded killer. I think he think's he's being clever. He's using this book to get attention and prove that he's smart, I guess. However it's obvious he's bursting at the seems to tell everyone how it really happened. Hubris always goes before a fall...(one hopes).

He is truly a mad man.

Talk About Your Anticlimax

Not that I was hoping for any major damage as a result of the earthquakes off the coast of Japan, but the whole way into work this moring, NPR kept giving fluttering accounts of scientists tracking its possible effects. NPR on-air reporters were checking in with members of the Japanese government, asking about evacuation plans. This story dovetailed nicely after a story about engineers building a test house on quake tables to simulate the effects of earthquakes on the types of housing that currently exists in California. Their next test will be in Japan.

After all was said and done, the tsunamis ended up being a series of sixteen inch waves pummeling the coast. Thanks, NPR for gearing up like pros. And thanks, God, for deciding against punishing Japan today. After all, they've all been saved right?

It's Almost Like Bein' In Love

According to the Canton Repository, Republican candidate for Governor J. Kenneth Blackwell "conceded the race in an email last night at 8:47 p.m., remarkably early in what proved to be one of the most contentious races for the governor's office in recent memory." Thank heaven Ohio is saved from this abrasive and shallow man.

Also, that the Democrats are in charge of the house and the Senate pretty much split down the middle, I'm feeling pretty good about the future.